O/T Single again now.

actual lol, on a thread that earlier had me filling up, this forum really is the dogs, good luck SD, one of the great BBS characters, sending my love and best wishes Pal

 

Cheers mate.

 

Only just seen this. Chin up mate and all the best for getting over this.
Can't really offer any advice as I've not been through it. Know a few that have and have never looked back.
Good luck.

 

Thanks mate. Once again thanks to everyone else for their support .

 

How’s it going Stephen ?
Are things getting any easier ?

 

No mate not really. Things have become more amicable and she's stopped pestering me for money. I've seen George once though and do regular watsapp messages. Hard because she's in them with him. I'm taking George this Saturday while she has a dinner date. So she's obviously moved on. I need to do the same.

 

You will mate. In your own time. Seen it umpteen times before (had experience myself too) by the way. The female jumps straight into dating first chance they get. She’s either had him on simmer for a while, or she’s just doing it to get to you. Or both!

Either way. In time it’s not a bad thing. Keep doing the right things and you’ll find a happy place in time. Might be quick, might be months, but you’ll get there mate.

A mate of mine has been going thru similar. 18 months down the line he’s really happy, more access to the kids, his exes greed has cost her in court and he’s paying less money out!

He’s enjoying work, being a single dad (albeit 3 days a week). Just seems in a genuinely great place. I’m mentioning it as when his ex jumped straight in with another fella he was absolutely heartbroken. Felt like he’d wasted 14 years of his life. He hasn’t. Neither have you.

 

Cheers mate. Luckily I haven't hit the bottle or anything. Went out and got smashed on Friday. It didn't do anything for me. I just felt nothing for a few hours then lost Saturday and Sunday hungover. Went for a walk on Sunday but had nowhere to go. It was aimless to be honest. Last night I went for a walk and ended up in the Wetherspoon. I didn't knock it back and it just felt like a waste really.

It's the emptiness that I'm struggling with more than anything.

 

You will mate trust me i did but it takes time and there isn't a time limit, stick at it you're doing great.

 

Are you living in Pontefract SD

 

My Daughter got to me before i started drinking heavy said I'd enough to put up with ,good advice. I met someone else which my VERY EX wife wasn't happy about ( they don't want you but don't want anyone else to have you). Good luck mate take each day as it comes you WILL get there eventually.

 

Yes mate.

 

Can't offer any advice mate but hopefully you will shortly realise it is just one phase of your life that has ended and another one beginning with exciting possibilities.
Did you you feel 'emptiness' when you were single? You then entered a new phase of married life,..another by becoming a dad (that phase is still ongoing) but now runs alongside a new phase of being single again. Whilst you can't see it now, it does offer endless possibilities.

Think of it has having had your wings clipped and they have finally grown back.

Think of me after 40 years of marriage...40!!... years!!.... of marriage. As a long suffering friends once said to me .... "I'd have been out by now with time off for good behavior".

 

Lol

 

Id definitely say move on (always a reason for a split, and sounds like you have your answer). But no frying pan into fire. Enjoy being single again. Doing all the things you now CAN. And you will. Plenty of time for other women.

I had a few flings after my divorce and actually hit a point where I enjoyed being single. The envy of my mates cos I could do what I wanted. And what I wanted with my boys too.

And then out of the blue (it's true it hits you like a ton of bricks out of nowhere) when you least expecting it, you will meet someone else. Just as I have done.

Definitely look into setting up a parental agreement (you can get get samples of the net if you Google). It will give you some idea of what to cover and the things that you BOTH NEED TO DO to put George first and spelling it out now things are a bit more amicable, may be the best chance to do it. Don't settle for being a Friday night only dad

 

Lol yeah mine was 37 years ,thought my life had ended really did, was JUST BEGINNING little did i know.

 

Did Watsapp tonight. Told me she's on Badoo. Confirmed everything I needed to know.

 

Sorry to read this mate, I also went through a divorce ( two young kids) you probably feel that your life as just collapsed ( I did) but speaking from experience mate it does get better, I really don't get why some women decide it's a good thing to stop there kids seeing there dads, that really boils my pi55

 

I've only just seen this thread, sorry to hear about your split SD and hope things settle down soon and you start feeling better about things.

 

My ex used the kids as a weapon against me and to get what she wanted.
And it worked.