I just received the following SMS: "Hello, I am from the Human Resources Department. We have received your resume. We are happy to invite you to work together. Contact via WhatsApp.." Which is funny, because the only thing I've sent anyone recently is a sample of my own sh*t. I wonder what the job must be for that to have got me through the door. Quality Assurance Manager at Crowdstrike, perhaps? Candidate Vetting Consultant for Reform UK? Defensive Coach for Barnsley Football Club?
Why haven’t you replied to my SMS. I have lots of job opportunities for a retired ninja. BTW, I am absolutely gorgeous so send me your bank details!
That's the one. Pinot noir, obvs. A savigny-lès-beaune, if memory serves. I engraved my bank details on the sample stick, as you no doubt noticed.