Made me laugh

A wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her, then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K". She asks, "What does that mean"? He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot". She smiled and said, "Oh, that's sweet, but what about 'I, J, K' "? He said, "I'm Just Kidding' ". His eye is still swollen, but it will get better....

 

I have been a member of the National Front for over 25 years and not ashamed to admit it. I wear all the badges, I have bought and wear the T-shirts/polo shirts and wear them with pride. I have met the most interesting people from all walks of life and spent many weekends visiting different parts of the country supporting our history and pride in our nation. More people should join so we can show solidarity in our nations history.

Edit: the wife has informed me "Its Trust, not Front."

 

Here's dirty Del boy lol, showing what an absolute twot he is!!.

 

Now here's Ritchie and Eddy, acting like complete a*holes, with the gas man!!.

 

I had this appointment at the sperm donor bank, but couldn't be bothered to go.

I thought about several different excuses I could use, but in the end I just called then and said I couldn't come

 

If our doctor's is anything to go by it should be the other way round

 

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex:
"Tarzan not know sex!" He replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said. "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree!"
Horrified, she said. "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly!"
She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here!" She said. "You must put it in here!"
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right between her legs.
Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed. "What did you do that for?"
"Tarzan check for bees!”

 

Thought that was Busted when I first saw em.
Yep. Got mi coyt.

 

I went into the local pet shop yesterday and asked to buy a wasp.
'Sorry sir, we dont have any of those' said the assistant.
'Yes you do' I replied 'I've just seen one in the window'.

 

Oh No!!