Made me laugh

Meeting Roy Keane perhaps.

 

Just seen a blatant case of fly-tipping in Wath. So I got the company name off the side of the Lorry and reported it to the police. I'm amazed that the police weren't interested and even threatened to arrest me!!!. Well, I shall be Googling the company involved and taking it further. Has anyone heard of a company called "GRITTER"?

 

I can vividly remember when I was young, we were playing footy on the field, and i had occasion to fetch the ball. A van pulled up, the driver leaned across and opened the passenger door, he said "Get in the van and I'll give you this bag of sweets"
"NO!" I answered sternly
"Okay, this bag of sweets and £10"
"NO!" I insisted
"How about £20 and this bag of sweets?"
"No way!"
"Final offer, £30 and TWO bags of sweets. C'mon, get in the van"
"Pee off Dad, I'm not going to Hillsborough to watch that shower AGAIN!!!"

 

Yes, the company is Gary Gritter and you'll find him mainly on the minor roads!

 

Remember getting a nice annual Christmas morning ?

 

Gone over my head that one. What am I missing?

 

The post he replied to has been deleted by the author. Someone had posted a photo of two grown men who had apparently attacked the tweeter and when the tweeter punched one back they grasses up the tweeter. The tweeter tagged Leeds United asking for them to be banned for starting it. I imagine Leeds are now dealing with it and asked him to deleted it. Anyway one of them had a really scruffy jumper on full of marks.

 

Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas.

1. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

2. Smother the butter all over the breasts!

3. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

4. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

5. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

6. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

7. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

8. You still have a little bit on your chin.

9. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

10. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning

 

Leeds united manager flies to
> Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football, he is suitably
> impressed and arranges for him to come over.

> Two weeks later Leeds are 4-0 down to Rotherham
> with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young
> Afghani striker the nod
> and on he goes.
>
> The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and
> wins the game for Leeds, The fans are delighted, the
> players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
>
> When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
>
> 'Hello mum, guess what? I played for 20 minutes today, we were
> 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won.
> Everybody loves me, the fans, the media,they all love me.'
>
> 'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters. And all while you were having such great time.'
>
> The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry.'
>
> 'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' shouts his mum.



'It's your bloody fault we came to Leeds in the first place.'

 

Lol

 

Where's the banjo?

 

Nahh, its the Judean Peoples Front who are waiting for him, behind the bike sheds!.

 

Whats Nottingham Forest and a bottle of whisky got in common

Cloughie took them both to the bottom before he quit

 

Hey now Mr Sheddy lol, that's not a very nice thing to say about Nigel. He is making plans even now, as we speak!.

 

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