Maybe we should go down the more traditional corporate recruitment route. Advertise on the clubs career vacancies section for a new striker etc. Imagine some of the the applications they would receive. Hugo Colace incoming.
A couple of signings based on nepotism, some players hired below minimum wage, throw in a few interns... Sorted.
Pleased find attached my CV I'm a midfield player but more than happy to slot in at wingback or as a striker.
If "box to box" means drifting backwards and forwards between the front room telly and the kitchen telly, then I'm your man.