A random fact

I can't ride a bike.

 

What ?? How did you get about then at Uni ? Punting ?</p>

 

No fear

It's just like riding a bike.

I can't rewire a house.

 

Walking. Once borrowed a bike as i was late getting to the sports ground and rode it into a parked car.</p>

Random fact number 2: I once accidentally shat in someone's fanny.</p>

 

His *** gave him free donkey rides

 

We'll leave the bike thing for a moment. You shat in a fanny ? wtf ?

 

That'd be Brown major no doubt. What ho.

 

f.u.cks sake, it was an accident.

 

I really hoped it was deliberate. &quot;**** in my pussy big boy&quot;

 

Trying to imagine the required position and(puke)

 

Good Emoticon work and really

come on, its not that difficult. We've all shat in a fanny

 

Entirely unintentional, I can assure you. It was the kind of thing that can happen to anyone with a serious bowel complaint.</p>

FACT number 3: I have a commemorative plate celebrating the fact that I had seen a game at all 92 league grounds by the time i was 14.</p>

 

RE: Good Emoticon work and really

But shirly it must dribble down your willie first?

Hi Laura

 

I have plated 92 different Livingstone's Ladies..

 

Ballax to that.

Tell me more about the cacky fadge.

 

You'll end up like these

http://www.thefootballtraveller.co.uk/hops.htm

 

RE: Ballax to that.

Have just thought of the phrase &quot;cacked in the quim&quot; and started properly laughing to myself.</p>

It was an accident and i can assure any laydeez reading that it was a one-off many months ago. Hi girls, by the way. </p>

 

RE: Ballax to that.

How did you 'cack her quim'?

Were you in the 'legs round ears' position ... and it ran down your sack & into her clunge?

However you did it ... it is brilliant.

 

Ok, I lied about my own fanny cacking

I just wanted to look cool

I did once empty within the cackhole of a lass, who then 'texted' me 30 minutes later whilst on her walk home to say that I'd just about by now 'reached her knee'

 

Kinell.

Frothy mocha latte cappuchino running down the inside of her thighs.
An enduring image, I'm sure you'll agree.

Cacky froth spoff.
Runny bum protein gravy.

Tiramisu.