What is a Barnsley ? Barnsley is a hedonistic town in the north of the north. It’s a regular haunting for the likes of ghosts and Darren Gob from Talk Sport. Dazza Gobba is from Monk Breton in Barnsley and we will come back to that later. He alleges that he was once offered a pro football contract by Rotherham United. So, now it’s later why Monk Breton ? simple, it’s where Garry Monk was born, when they slapped his arse in the delivery room they noticed he was wearing an expensive watch and his wife took it off him. Barnsley is famous for the amount of magic mushrooms that can be located over a specific acre of field in a secret area everyone knows about just outside the town. In 2011 the Barnsley chop was banned in the town, the chop is a piece of meat, a cut close to the spine of an animal. At this point the animal is dead, or nearly dead, sometimes it is very dead. The Barnsley chop isn’t banned in Monk Breton and Gawber. Gawber is now called that name because someone in the past decided that would be a good idea. The name remains. Barnsleh ! was the first English town to cater for people with no heads in the T-shirt game 92,000 people live in that Barnsley where the favourite pastime of locals aged forty and over is playing in brass bands. Only 1% of the population is Asian before you lot start, but it does have countless white people of British birth, I don’t know why I am going here, but why not ? it’s a fact. The town isn’t as multi cultural as Whitland or maybe Kenfif Hill, but who is caring ? Don’t start your nonsense on here or I’ll offer you out. Ok ? Thingy, you know the umpire bloke and Michael Parkinson who actually came round our house once are from Barnsley. That’s about it, only five people who live there are called Lee Barnes. This is Darren Gobs house in Barnsley, it’s got a lovely paint job. Tha knaws Football news may appear later.
They're obviously against the Barnsley Chop,after all, every lamb to the slaughter is one less chance for their menfolk to pull
I'm proud that our town is the pioneer in headless t-shirts. Something I didn't know, and will tell all my mates on our next kestrel meeting.
They're right about the secret area....not so secret for the select few in the know A clue: on the border with West Yorkshire.
Damn. I was hoping that was really derogatory so I could get into ‘hater’ mode before the game. Sadly, it isn’t. It’s quite clever. Looks like I’m just going to have to watch my re-runs of Steve Cooper (the Diddy, not the acrobat) Interview videos; the most classless inarticulate idiot since Gary Monk.