A young dude is out playing football & has a bit of an accident which involves an injury to his wedding tackle. Goes to the quack & says he needs to get it fixed as he's due to get married the following weekend & needs everything to preferably be in good running order. Doc checks it out, gets 4 tongue depressors & uses them to build a 4 way splint. It ends up being a work of art. Anyhow, a week later, he's been married & retires to the hotel room with his stunning new bride. She suddenly rips her top off, exposing a set of hooters that would poke your eyes out & says "Look at these, never, ever touched by anybody , you will be the first ever!!" Not to be outdone, he rips his jocks off & says to her "Check this out, still in the crate !!!"