Parenting Dilemma

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Gravy Chips, Aug 13, 2021.

  1. Redhelen

    Redhelen Well-Known Member

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    perfect if the goal is to make sure that the child never wants to eat that food again.
     
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  2. Mid

    Mido Well-Known Member

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    I suppose there’s a scale isn’t there? If every night it’s this or nothing, then I agree but if it’s something that is a usual meal for the family then I don’t see the issue.
     
  3. SuperTyke

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    Completely agree with that but the to e of some of the replies did seem to suggest it was more than that and that it was genuinely 'youll eat what you're given or go hungry'
     
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  4. JamDrop

    JamDrop Well-Known Member

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    It’s back to that punishment and control thing, they subconsciously feel inferior that the kid has ‘got one over on them’ and want to cause them pain over it. The kid’s not not eating the dinner to spite you, the reason might not be a good enough one to change what it’s getting but it isn’t doing it to be mean, just to be selfish (which is understandable in a kid even if it doesn’t mean it’s right). They don’t need punishing for not wanting what’s in front of them, they just need to realise that the outcome they were hoping for isn’t happening and that there’s no point doing it again. They don’t need punishing for that (letting them go hungry one night isn’t a punishment, it’s what they chose and they’re allowed to make that decision and see the consequences, no one chose cold dinner though and that’s not a logical consequence to not eating… going hungry is).
     
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  5. Mid

    Mido Well-Known Member

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    I understood that from the 70s where there wasn’t much choice, but these days there is no excuse for parents as there’s loads of choice.
     
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  6. jud

    judith charmers Well-Known Member

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    Feed him, he’s 7, still finding there feet at that age.....a few Cheetos isn’t like giving him a McDonald’s or somet......
    I’ve a 6 year old, try’s it on constantly, if we go out for tea and she wont eat up we ask for it to be boxed up and she can have it later, a bit of bribery usually works too :D
     
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  7. JamDrop

    JamDrop Well-Known Member

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    It would have needed to have been done at the time as a compromise as in ‘you need to eat 4 more forkfuls and then you can have some Cheetos’. To be fair, reading back, the kid didn’t say he was hungry, and he had eaten some as he said it was filling, he just said he’s not too full for Cheetos. That makes it sound like he’s treating them as a dessert which you definitely don’t get if you’ve not given your meal a good go.
     
  8. Jimmy viz

    Jimmy viz Well-Known Member

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    Definitely hungry. You did the right thing offering steamed veg. Class parent move.
     
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  9. jud

    judith charmers Well-Known Member

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    You’ve clearly got some hands on experience working with kids day in day out, I’d say being à parent is so much different in how they play your heart strings! We have constant battles with our youngest, pasta cheese, pasta and butter, pasta and sauce and nuggets is all she will have when we go out........I’d love to see her try different foods but I’m of the opinion that she’ll try other stuff when she feels she wants to, our other daughter was a fussy arse and she now eats loads of stuff
     
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  10. nezbfc

    nezbfc Well-Known Member

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    The important thing is not to make 10 meals a day for everyone individually.

    By all means agree it up front.

    Make one meal for everyone.

    I'm sure after 2 or 3 days of "I don't want that" they will eat.

    But agree it up front maybe
     
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  11. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    TBF if I was offered Olives. Tripe and Garlic mushrooms. Coffee to drink. Over nowt.
    I’d choose nowt. And be prepared to starve and dehydrate.
     
  12. wak

    wakeyred Well-Known Member

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    Offer some fruit, a banana is very filling.
     
  13. Til

    Tilertoes Well-Known Member

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    One meal for everyone. Ask them their favourite, then everyone gets a turn. Luckily it's worked out for us 5 and we now have a takeaway once a month. I'm not counting the pizza in the evoo before a match in this
     
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  14. leebrilleaux

    leebrilleaux Well-Known Member

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    The logic is this: By not microwaving the meal it puts down a marker. Kids will always try to push boundaries, always have done always will do. I did it myself as a kid. Once a parent gives in the floodgates will have been opened not only with food but in other instances such as timekeeping - time to return home.
     
  15. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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    Do anything else and you've made a rod for your back....
     
  16. Sionnach

    Sionnach Active Member

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    With my kid the norm was I'd make the dinner everyone was having, as much to their taste as possible....ie she'd get less spice or more pasta etc. Once that was done, then that was dinner. I never forced her to eat, but if she hadn't eaten a decent meals worth then that was that. If she told me before I began making dinner that she wasn't very hungry, i d cook her less. I think if a reasonable effort is made to accommodate their tastes, like you would for anyone eating a meal you're preparing, then the battle is already won.
     
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