Swivel Stadiums and other chinese ideas

Over the last 4.7 years I have been travelling the globe after winning a scholarship with North Dearne New and Young Enterprize Scheme which has seen me stay as far as Denmark, Ireland, The Amercia and China. Unfortunately I have been denied internet access due to state laws but I can now surf due to being sent home.

I saw lots of great ideas in China and started working in Chinese Football on Thursday mornings in the inventions department of china’s biggest team Shanghai FC.

One thing they do in China is have swivel stadiums so that the away fans can become closer to the goal in the second half and vice versa. So for example yesterday the Ponty end would have been behind the goal the super red tykes were shooting into yesterday in the first half after a quick swivel - this would mean that the great atmosphere would have been behind the goal in the first half and I think we would probably have scored at least 2 more goals yesterday if we had this.

Oliver Thiams slice turn shot would definitely have gone in and Nathan Barnes power header would probably have been a goal which would have meant we would have won 3-1 and got two more points.

Do you think the Chinese billionaires will do this?

Should we start a petition?

Adam Hinchliff.

 

Welcome back Adam.
Did you take your dog with you on your travels?

 

I think you should definitely drop them a line. You could see if they'd be willing to look at the possibility of incorporating linesmen on wheels into the design. I'm assuming you patented it?

 

Lol

 

Gary the Dog

 

But the one that Jamie(?) Yiadom sliced over his own crossbar would definitely have gone in had the Reading fans been behind that goal, and Phil Fryers dodgy clearance early on in the game would certainly have been dodgier still had the Reading fans been behind the goal.

The long and short of it is, yes, the Chinese have a more illustrious background in football, and we should adopt whatever they tell us to.

 

Hi oakwellian

Unfortunately my dog Gary died during the flight.

Rest in Peace

Adam Hinchliff

 

Yes don’t worry I asked Garren to patent it as he has an HND from Wath College in Business Studies.

It has moved on a little since then though, since I have been in China due to something called wireless internet - the referees can now control the linesmen on wheels using balloontooth and wireless iPhones. It’s the same technology that Alexa uses and is really quite good. They are called smart linesmen and you have eight buzzing around in any one game. It works in China. They have it in their third division.

 

I preferred the pre-edit. Laughing

 

Don’t know what you mean?!!!!!

 

He wasn't replying to you (technically)

 

It just gets funnier.

 

Hi Adam, many things have happened at oakwell whilst you've been away. Did you know they've started employing a man from the old Tefal adverts? Was that one of your ideas?

 

For years I've been campaigning for remote controlled goal posts and crossbars, so that the goal we are defending can be made smaller and the opposition's goal larger. This could occur at half time while the stadium is rotating, as the officials would be distracted.

We also need about 2 or 3 extra players in our side, but they need to be invisible. A bit more far-fetched, I realise that, but Ike Ugbo is on the right track I think.

 

I was told that Ashley Ward’s sale to Blackburn was conditional of a ‘swivel upgrade option’ being included in the building of the new North stand, as Ashley was a very passionate campaigner for Swivel stadiums and would not agree to the move without this promise.

Do they have any Ashley Ward type players in China yet?

 

All the stands at Swillsborough have had a similar upgrade.

Each individual stand can swivel on its own axis if enough attendees press a button to allow them to face away from the pitch if the game isn't up to their exacting standards. This not only allows them to show their disapproval but also lets them admire the surrounding area.

Unfortunately for them it is not working at the moment so they have to continue watching the game.....and the view outside is of a sh1thole anyway !

 

Interesting read Adam, the idea of the swivel stadium has caused my head to spin, would the actual swivel be conducted using solar power or do you see a collection of hamsters and their wheels powering it.....im sorry to hear about the dog dying durring the flight .....those airedale terriers know no bounds and can reach great altitudes .....the RAF must be mourning the loss of such a great pilot

 

Don't let him anywhere near hamsters!

 

We could lengthen our half of pitch so the opposition attackers are knackered by the time they reach our penalty area.
It would also enable Adam Davies’s kicks to stay in play.
On the invisible players we tried that years ago but unfortunately the nominated player Phil Gridelet was allergic to the antidote and has never been seen since.

 

But when we're crap in the first half it always gives me hope that we'll be better shooting towards the ponty in the second half. Do you want to take this away? Eh? Cos otherwise its it's a hip flask of jagermeister.