Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

Page 2 of 235
  1. Del Rosso

    Del Rosso Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2016
    Messages:
    1,834
    Likes Received:
    2,504
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    The wife's kicked me out and I'm living in a phone box
    Well, it's somewhere to call home
     
    Del Rosso, Feb 26, 2018
    #21
    Simon De Montforte, Tyketical Masterstroke, Bossman and 1 other person like this.
  2. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    23,677
    Likes Received:
    14,562
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    HERE.
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    Store assistant excuse me can I help you sir?
    I said yes I’m looking for something that goes PING
    He said “PING”?
    I said yes you’ll do
     
    Marlon, Feb 26, 2018
    #22
    Metatarsal, Bossman and Connor like this.
  3. JamDrop

    JamDrop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2013
    Messages:
    18,410
    Likes Received:
    19,156
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Leeds
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    My grandfather was ill so we took him to the hospital. He started to recover, but then the doctors decided to put butter all over his entire backside. After that, he went downhill very quickly.
     
    JamDrop, Feb 26, 2018
    #23
    budmustang, Sprotbrough Red, Metatarsal and 4 others like this.
  4. Lone Striker

    Lone Striker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2017
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    2,481
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Goalscorer
    Location:
    Beyond the last man
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Bought my mother in law a Jaguar for Christmas.

    Bit ‘er bloody head off.
     
    Lone Striker, Feb 26, 2018
    #24
    Simon De Montforte, Metatarsal and Bossman like this.
  5. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Been to the hospital today.
    They reckon I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but at the moment it's hard to say!
     
    Connor, Feb 26, 2018
    #25
    Prince of Risborough, Simon De Montforte, Duntpasstome and 1 other person like this.
  6. Lone Striker

    Lone Striker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2017
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    2,481
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Goalscorer
    Location:
    Beyond the last man
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Found a Dyson in the loft.

    It was just there gathering dust.
     
    Lone Striker, Feb 26, 2018
    #26
    Connor likes this.
  7. Lone Striker

    Lone Striker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2017
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    2,481
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Goalscorer
    Location:
    Beyond the last man
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    The wife got angry with me for going to watch the Reds.

    She threw a steak, potatoes and cabbage at me.

    I said “Don’t you think you’re making a meal of this?”
     
    Lone Striker, Feb 26, 2018
    #27
    Connor and Tyke The Tree-Frog like this.
  8. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2012
    Messages:
    6,603
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Urine Extraction Technician
    Location:
    Elsecar By The Sea
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Got into a fight with a bloke with a mop.....wiped the floor with him.
     
    shenk1, Feb 26, 2018
    #28
    Connor likes this.
  9. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    3,472
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Been to the doctors today, told him I can't pronounce my F's, T's or H's.

    He said, "Well, you can't say fairer than that then"........,
     
    Metatarsal, Feb 26, 2018
    #29
    Connor, Bossman and Old Goat like this.
  10. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    5,992
    Likes Received:
    3,222
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I love eBay!

    I sold my homing pigeon eight times last month.
     
    TonyTyke, Feb 26, 2018
    #30
    Prince of Risborough, Tyke The Tree-Frog, Cambridge Red and 6 others like this.
  11. Father Benny Cake

    Father Benny Cake Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    2,342
    Likes Received:
    1,227
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Craggy Island Parochial House
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Skeleton walks into a bar and says, “pint of lager and a mop please”
     
    Father Benny Cake, Feb 26, 2018
    #31
    Bossman and Metatarsal like this.
  12. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    21,233
    Likes Received:
    13,299
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    None
    Location:
    Dodworth
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    It could have been a net curtain..........
     
    Stahlrost, Feb 26, 2018
    #32
    Deafening Silence, SuperTyke and Metatarsal like this.
  13. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    3,472
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Just put all of my original John Lennon memorabilia up for auction on EBay.
    Imagine all the PayPal.
     
    Metatarsal, Feb 26, 2018
    #33
    Prince of Risborough, Bossman, Old Goat and 1 other person like this.
  14. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,459
    Likes Received:
    28,305
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    What do you call a magic dog?

    A Labracadabrador
     
    SuperTyke, Feb 26, 2018
    #34
    Bossman and Old Goat like this.
  15. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    3,472
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    You've just put a smile on my 13 year old daughters face with that one mate. She's a stress head at the minute, GCSE Options week. Couldn't have timed that joke any better.
     
    Metatarsal, Feb 26, 2018
    #35
    Bossman likes this.
  16. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,459
    Likes Received:
    28,305
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Glad to be of service. Tell her to write all the subjects on ping pong balls and choose them FA cup style.

    This is why I'm not a parent
     
    SuperTyke, Feb 26, 2018
    #36
    Metatarsal likes this.
  17. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    3,472
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I've not told the wife but I've just bought some new variant Viagra, drug code 007, online. It says it won't keep you hard for longer but will help you roger moore.......
     
    Metatarsal, Feb 26, 2018
    #37
    Bossman, Julian Broddle's Perm and SuperTyke like this.
  18. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,459
    Likes Received:
    28,305
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Speaking of viagra
    I went to the chemists the other day and asked if they had any extra strength ones
    Chemist: yes we do
    Me: can you get it over the counter?
    Chemist: yes if i take two
     
    SuperTyke, Feb 26, 2018
    #38
    Bossman, Connor and Metatarsal like this.
  19. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2016
    Messages:
    2,422
    Likes Received:
    4,383
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I used to go out with a lass who, unfortunately, had eczema, head to toe.
    Lovely girl, cracking tits.
     
    Julian Broddle's Perm, Feb 26, 2018
    #39
    Bossman, Connor and Metatarsal like this.
  20. Dun

    Duntpasstome Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2014
    Messages:
    3,992
    Likes Received:
    4,311
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    A man went to the doctors, the doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long time "the man replied "I know I've been ill".
     
    Duntpasstome, Feb 26, 2018
    #40
    Bossman likes this.
Page 2 of 235

Share This Page