Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. She

    Sheriff Well-Known Member

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    Was it the drive to Coventry in the Prem Season where that one was first unleashed on us?

    Needs you doing the accents in Two Ronnies style for it to really come into its own though.
     
    Sheriff, Mar 5, 2018
    #141
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  2. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

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    Yes it was, the day of the Dion Dublin dive. And you're right about the accent.
     
    Metatarsal, Mar 5, 2018
    #142
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  3. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Bloke walks into a theatrical agency got any gigs available ...what you do asks the agent. .I do bird impressions he replies....bird impressions.. no chance mate acts like that went out with the Victorian music halls the agent scoffs ...ok says the bloke opens the window flaps his arms and flys off ....
     
    shed131, Mar 6, 2018
    #143
  4. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Why was the scarecrow awarded the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field.
     
    Connor, Mar 6, 2018
    #144
  5. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    I built an electric fence around my property yesterday. My neighbour is dead against it.
     
    Connor, Mar 7, 2018
    #145
  6. Spuggy

    Spuggy Well-Known Member

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    My mum always used to laugh at me when I used to say I was one day going to make a car out of spaghetti.
    You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
     
    Spuggy, Mar 7, 2018
    #146
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  7. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    My dog is named Minton.

    Today he ate a shuttlecock.

    Bad Minton!
     
    Bossman, Mar 8, 2018
    #147
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  8. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    we really could do with a groan button on this thead.

    So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand.

    and
    A cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"
     
    Farnham_Red, Mar 8, 2018
    #148
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  9. KamikazeCo-Pilot

    KamikazeCo-Pilot Well-Known Member

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    Talking of Audi, apparently they have released two new models for the American market, the 'Doody' and the 'Partner'......
     
    KamikazeCo-Pilot, Mar 8, 2018
    #149
  10. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    Mickey Mouse contacted his Solicitor to ask advice on how he could divorce Minnie.
    He was told to write his grievances down and the Solicitor would send for him to discuss
    his reasons. He got a call to go in and see his brief. After exchanging pleasantries the
    Solicitor said " I've looked at your petition Mickey and as your Legal representative, I have to advise
    you, that you can't divorce a female just because she's got buck teeth."
    Mickey looked at the letter and using his finger to point to a sentence he said " No, that's not what I mean. What I am saying, is, I think she's fu*king Goofy."!
     
    Donny Red, Mar 8, 2018
    #150
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  11. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    :D:D
     
    Bossman, Mar 8, 2018
    #151
  12. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

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    I'm getting to the point that I may be repeating jokes already in the thread, but I hope I'm not.

    Anyway.... ahem ...

    Apparently David Hasslehoff is changing his name to just David Hoff.. He can’t be arsed with the hassle anymore
     
    TonyTyke, Mar 8, 2018
    #152
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  13. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    TonyTyke, Mar 8, 2018
    #153
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  14. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

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    Just called in for a pint on the way to the match, a horrible pub called The Fiddle. It really is a vile inn.
     
    Metatarsal, Mar 10, 2018
    #154
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  15. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

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    Will glass coffins ever take off??.....Remains to be seen..........
     
    Metatarsal, Mar 10, 2018
    #155
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  16. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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    Ken Dodd Tribute:-

    I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

    Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.

    5 out of every 3 people have trouble understanding fractions.

    I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

    Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel.

    Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you’re in dead trouble!
     
    Exile, Mar 12, 2018
    #156
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  17. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    I phoned the council to renew my fishing license,they told me to hold the line.
     
    Connor, Mar 12, 2018
    #157
  18. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Just bought some Meatloaf pants.
    On the front it says 'I'll do anything for love.'
    On the back its says 'I won't do that!!'
     
    Connor, Mar 12, 2018
    #158
  19. Del Rosso

    Del Rosso Well-Known Member

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    I went to the zoo to see the monkeys wanking
    When I went to see the crocodiles I was still wanking
     
    Del Rosso, Mar 12, 2018
    #159
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  20. Bak

    Baka Well-Known Member

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    HAHA.
     
    Baka, Mar 12, 2018
    #160
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