Evening mate. I don't know you personally, but I also don't know how to send PMs, so sorry to resurface this thread that's probably a bit painful for you, but it's played on my mind a bit today. Can you just confirm that you're fit and well and in a better place today please.
Mate I reckon the entire BBS is behind you, regardless of the bickering that goes on. You're important to lots of people in the world, including all of us on here. Good to hear from you.
I'll just keep on drinking whisky and cheap wine, listen to slow sad country songs. Thanks all, sincerely.
Thats probably what Id do as well Norfolk, so Im not the best one for giving advice here. But hitting the bottle surely isn't the best way to deal with it either. I know that awful feeling though, when even though you've got family and friends offering their help, theres still that empty and lonely feeling and its hard to know what to do next. But remember you have a massive reason to get through this, and I hope one day you will look back and be glad you did.
Keep going ... you can do this..Your daughter needs you to do this. You can be happy again and have your daughter in your life. There is a way.
Norfolk mate, I’m not ashamed to say I had a bout of depression a few years ago. It wasn’t a marriage breakup for me, it was a series of traumas which eventually led to me being more low than I really care to recall. It actually took a few years to manifest. I got through it. It was bloody hard though. I didn’t see a possible positive end, a bright light at the end of the tunnel. I got there. With a bit of help. It is out there, please go and get it pal. We’re all behind you, and you’ve a little girl that needs you to do it. There’s no real solace at the bottom of a glass but blowing off a bit of steam won’t hurt you long term. Just don’t let it go too far. We might be strangers but there’s folk on here who care. Be strong, keep us updated and get the help you need.
This too shall pass - I used to repeat this over and over when I was at the bottom. No matter how bad it feels, how much things seem to spiral: it will get better, and pass, you’ll find a way. It may come and go, but over the time it will become less acute. Hang in there.
Well done for asking for help it’s a big step. Well done for taking responsibility and saying it’s your fault. Now you need to listen to all these people telling you to stay strong for your daughter and your friends. Your life is not your own it belongs to your family and friends stay strong for them
Chin up pal , went through what you are going through in august last year, those first few months were rough as **** but it does get better , concentrate on what's best for you're daughter. Two parents fighting does no one any favours and you and you're ex owe it to you're kid to make the split as hassle and pain free as possible, wish you all the best mate just hang in there it will get better, sithi.
Hang in there, it gets better. Things take a few months to settle. If you need anyone to talk to even just to get things off your chest please contact the samaritans. If you dont feel that you can keep yourself safe, please call the local crisis team for Norfolk on 01603 421239 (http://www.nsft.nhs.uk/Our-services...-and-Home-Treatment-Team-Central-Norfolk.aspx), call 111 or attend A&E immediately. If you need any further info please PM me.
There's been bad days before and you've got through them and you will get through this one too as ***** as it seems right now. Keep posting on here if you need someone to talk to, there'll always be one of us around willing to have a chat.
I couldn't care less about the ex. I'm starting to develop a hatred towards her. It's the dipping in and out of my daughter's life that I'm really struggling with. This might sound bad and selfish but I don't know whether it would just be easier not seeing her. Doesn't help when last night she wanted to speak to new fella, her 'like stepdad as she put it. For the last two weekends I was supposed to have her, last week I didn't make it past Fri eve and this weekend she's just been collected as I can't handle it.
I'd try and keep up the connections with her for as long as you can for both of your sakes. I think it would be hard to ever look back and regret having seen her (as difficult as it can be to hear her talk about the new fella) but it seems very likely you would look back and regret not seeing her. Is there anyone (one of your parents for example) who could be with you when you see your daughter so it's not just the pressure of you and her? Could you purposefully arrange to just see her for an afternoon a week or something so there's not the pressure of a whole weekend which you then feel like a failure when it ends up being shortened? Start a few hours at a time and slowly build up (if you feel up to it) rather than going longer and having to shorten it. Try not to blame your daughter for wanting to speak to the other guy too, to her she just has lots of people who want to spend time with her which is actually a positive thing, as much as it grates on you to think about anyone else with her. At the end of the day you want her to be as happy as she can be, right? It doesn't really matter where or who that happiness comes from. If you completely cut off from seeing her though she may blame herself which isn't something you would want I imagine.
I can only speak from my own experiences of divorce , but your going to have to put any feelings of hatred on the back burner and concentrate on your daughter . Hatred will stop you getting the things you want , and I'm sure the things you want are exactly the things your daughter wants which is a a strong family relationship . If your feelings are stressing you out I strongly advise you see your doctor as soon as possible and explain to him/her your situation.
A bad day is just that mate, tomorrow can be better. Your daughter will thank you for being there, even if at the moment you are struggling. If you ever need to talk to someone about this drop me a line. Im sure most of the people on here feel the same too. You will be in a better place but don’t expect it overnight, you will have peaks and troughs. There is no shame in getting help either pal. Take care, and keep in touch. We need to be shoulder to shoulder next year singing “Daniel Stendel’s Rot und weiß Armee!
i went through this 3 years ago..like the lads say it gets easier pal. your daughter will always love you. Take care pal
