Took me a second to realise you meant that literally. My initial thought was that you'd pulled a bottle of red off the shelf and downed it in front of a cheering crowd
I've just found out who it was. I've just been to his breakfast table and let rip. Can't wait to see his face in the morning, as he tries to explain it to his wife...
You should have looked the 8 year in the eye and said “don’t worry young un I’ll take the blame for that”
Young Nudger Farts in bed next to wife, Wife sez Nudger, wot the fook was that Nudger replies, GOAL im winning 1-0 She decides to get even, so she lets one rip. Nudger shreiks, wot the fook was that, wife shouts GOAL 1-1 Young Nudger desperately trying to force a winner Shits the bed. Wife sez fook me nudger, wot the fook was that, Nudger replies HALF TIME swap sides.
Young Nudger feeling a bit aroused sez to wife, shall we try a different position toneight DARLING. Wife sez thatll be great Nudger, you stand by the cooker, and ill lay on the sofa and FART all neight
Years ago, we took our eldest kid(who was about 3 or 4 at the time) to Butlins in Skeggy for the weekend. While there, he decides he needs the toilet, and as I was taking him, I thought I might as well have a slash too. So, the mens toilets were packed, but we managed to find two urinals next to each other and we both unzip and start to piss. I notice he's looking around at everyone else's willies(mine would have been the only grown up one he had ever seen obviously), before proceeding to ask, at the top of his voice, "Dad, how come you haven't got a big willy like eveyone else?". Cue everyone else in the bogs bursting out laughing and me wanting the ground to open up! The little B*****d!
I've just got back from breakfast. I tried your line on the young lass, who then giggled uncontrollably. Her mum however was less than enthusiastic, and turned her twin laser beams on to full power. Happy New Year all!
Weren’t there. But ar lass took young un to her mams. Whilst waiting fot bus young un says I need a wee mam. So she lifted him overt grate at edge ot road and he obliged by doing a number 2 instead. Would loved to have seen her pick it up wi some tissues and putting it in the bin.
My Mate when we were working a Correctional unit, the inmates were sat in day room watching basketball game, says watch this went up to tv says too loud and started to turn it down, he let go one of his protein shake farts go,I have never seen a room empty as quick..
Someone please download the blazing saddles fart scene and copy it onto this thread . Do it missen if I knew how. Just watched it for the umpteenth time. Still has me in stitches.