I know it's been a while, just wanted to show my face...

Hi all. Remember me? Formally Darfield-Red.

THE REDS ARE GOING UP!!!!

Just wanted to share with you the reason I've not shown my face here for a number of months. Unfortunately, as many others do, I found myself in a rotten place. I'd let my own fears and worries control my brain, I wish I could tell you all why, but I cant. I cant explain what went wrong or why it happened, but I was placed under the mental health act.

I destroyed my family, I pushed away my better half of ten years and I neglected (mentally before anyone assumes the worse) my own son, a 1 year old lovely little lad. I lost my job, I nearly caused serious harm to another person when driving my van and a few other things that probably should be left private.

I was on the edge man, quite literally. I'd lost it, infact, I know I lost it but I cant actually remember losing it. To some that will make sense, to some that will sound insane. I've gained 4 stone, lost all interest in everything and anything etc etc etc

I'm happy to tell you that I am now on the right path and getting back to where I need to be. My manager at work had raised alarm bells with her bosses prior to any of this coming out, and luckily I got my job back. I said things to loved ones that were truly vile, those things cant be forgotten but they've been phenomenal. I'm getting to where I need to be.

The reason I've posted this is for one reason. There will be people who read or write on this forum who will be inches away from where I was, and I want you to know that no matter how bad you think things are, there is always a way out. I've waited since the weekend to post this, as I wanted to post it on a day everyone was feeling upbeat and positive. Please dont think I'm bringing the mood down, because im not. I'm as happy as everyone else is right now! But someone on here will read this and regardless of today's news, they'll be in bits. Who ever that person is, itll get better my friend, but you must seek the help you need and deserve.

Looking forward to posting on here and speaking to friends and family alike.

All the very best to each and everyone of you. Enjoy the promotion and enjoy the bank holiday.

Dan
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We haven't crossed paths much on here before, but welcome back Dan. Onwards and upwards!

 

Glad you're doing well.

Brave to post something like this. Massive Props.

 

thanks Dan ,do not know you but feel your pain,life is hard ,hope the reds going up gives us all a boost to face our problems in life

 

Post of the evening ...

Post of the evening ... (and there's been some good ones) ... perspective

 

Glad to hear you're on a better path, Dan. You Reds.

 

Welcome back and good luck in the future

 

Those dark places have been visited by quite a few on here Dan . Unless you've been there no one knows.. The reality that dawns, that endless torrent of self doubt and low esteem that gathers like a coiled spring spirals out of control causing you to lash out at those you love. Gathering pace as you pass through the darkness to the start of a long journey experiencing a lack of self worth and longing to be alone... A journey that can be triggered by something trivial yet so un assuming that you can't answer why.
For those who have never experienced mental health one can only say like the rest of life...

One must first sample the essence to understand the clarity of the situation


Just like an alcoholic you are only one thought away from your own personal hell it's a constant battle with the self but yet you don't have answers for anyone you can only hope and pray and take every day one step at a time.. Good luck on your journey... And to those yet to find and step on the path from darkness .. You are the one who needs to take the leap of faith and recognise the problem and thus take that first step... Help is out there.. Its nothing to be ashamed off...remember The filing cabinet can only take so much before the draw bursts open

 

Dan, all the best of luck, with your honesty and attitude I am sure you will return to happier times, good luck mate to you and your family.

 

Respect. Good luck mate..

 

Keep on what you're doing and you won't go far wrong.oneatds and upwards!

 

Great to hear you are doing better. I've had my demons to deal with & still do on a daily basis.

Great timing for your post COYR.

 

Great to hear your on the way back always talk to someone .

 

Hope yesterday put a smile back on thi face mate

 

Don't know you Dan but good luck for the future. Hope you find / have found the inner peace which will help you function. I also hope that you can get to a place where you are able to a point of reconciliation with family and friends. Take care.

 

Great to hear . Good luck

 

Good luck to you Dan, cherish your second chance in life

 

Great to hear you're on the path for recovery, all the very best COYR

 

Very brave of you to post this, I wish you all the best in your continued recovery. If you ever need to talk don’t be a stranger.

 

Good news Dan just keep looking forward pal all the best.