Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. OxR

    OxRed Well-Known Member

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    Someone was shot in Barnsley last night with a starter pistol.

    Police think its race related.
     
    OxRed, Jan 29, 2020
    #1201
    arabian_ian, DSLRed, Connor and 2 others like this.
  2. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    F0AA1A75-5C85-4914-88E9-BEF08FA5371F.jpeg
     
    Connor, Jan 29, 2020
    #1202
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  3. kir

    kirkhamtyke Well-Known Member

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    Fella was at the doctor's and the doctor says

    'I've got some bad news, you have to stop masturbating'

    'Oh my God doc - why?'

    'Cos you're sat here talking to me'

    :)
     
    kirkhamtyke, Feb 7, 2020
    #1203
    Silkysean, ScubaTyke and Connor like this.
  4. Red

    Reds Fan Well-Known Member

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    Man: "I think the Wife's dead"
    Mate: "What do you mean, *You think* she's dead"?
    Man: "Well, the sex is the same, but the ironing's mounting up"..
     
    Reds Fan, Feb 16, 2020
    #1204
    MarioKempes, Hooky feller and Connor like this.
  5. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    I was staying at a Hotel and I asked reception for a Wake-up call.She replied "You're overweight and you need to stop smoking"
     
    Connor, Feb 16, 2020
    #1205
    thetykester, Hooky feller, OxRed and 2 others like this.
  6. BarnsleyReds

    BarnsleyReds Well-Known Member

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    Insanity is hereditary... you get it from your children.
     
    BarnsleyReds, Feb 17, 2020
    #1206
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  7. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    RedStriker, Feb 17, 2020
    #1207
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  8. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    I have no problems with buying tampons, I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a 'proper' present. :(
     
    Lordtyke, Feb 18, 2020
    #1208
  9. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    arabian_ian, Feb 18, 2020
    #1209
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  10. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    The inventor of autocorrect walks into a barn...
     
    MarioKempes, Feb 18, 2020
    #1210
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  11. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    I recently proposed to my ex-wife. But she said no. She believes I’m just after her for my money.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2020
    MarioKempes, Feb 18, 2020
    #1211
    Connor, ScubaTyke, Farnham_Red and 2 others like this.
  12. Sim

    Simon De Montforte Well-Known Member

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    Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?"
    "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.
    "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.
    "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your crib and find out."
    He carefully manoeuvred himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face. "You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly.
    "You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?"

    "It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy,

    "you've got pink socks and I've got blue ones."
     
    Simon De Montforte, Feb 19, 2020
    #1212
  13. Sim

    Simon De Montforte Well-Known Member

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    For the past twenty years I've received a Valentine's card from the same secret admirer, so I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year ...first my granny dies now this.
     
    Simon De Montforte, Feb 19, 2020
    #1213
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  14. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    The Flat Earth society have just tweeted that they now have members right around the world.
     
    arabian_ian, Feb 20, 2020
    #1214
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  15. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    How does Moses make his cup of tea? Hebrews it.
     
    MarioKempes, Feb 20, 2020
    #1215
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  16. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    Our lass called me immature last night. I told her to get out of my fort.
     
    MarioKempes, Feb 20, 2020
    #1216
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  17. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    The traditional wording of that is ... all around the globe

    its up there with the Psychic society cancelling a meeting due to unforseen circumstances
     
    Farnham_Red, Feb 20, 2020
    #1217
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  18. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    As is.... just been to see a psychic medium fortune teller but her booth was closed... If she'd been any good she would have known I was coming...
     
    shed131, Feb 20, 2020
    #1218
  19. tosh

    tosh Well-Known Member

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    She did and thought oh no not him again
     
    tosh, Feb 20, 2020
    #1219
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  20. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Lol
     
    shed131, Feb 20, 2020
    #1220
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