Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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    dreamboy3000, Aug 10, 2020
    #1581
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  2. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Have you posted this in wrong thread ?
    I think you have .
     
    Marlon, Aug 10, 2020
    #1582
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  3. Did

    Didcot Red Well-Known Member

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    Wrong"there" - should be "their".
     
    Didcot Red, Aug 10, 2020
    #1583
  4. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

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    That is actually a true story.
    Turns out that the dwarf, who escaped from prison, is also a bit of a clairvoyant.
    Police are now searching for a small medium at large.
     
    Julian Broddle's Perm, Aug 10, 2020
    #1584
    Simon De Montforte, Durkar Red, Farnham_Red and 3 others like this.
  5. tingleytyke

    tingleytyke Well-Known Member

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    Did he do it at ohm? Bet it hertz,
     
    tingleytyke, Aug 10, 2020
    #1585
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  6. Archey

    Archey Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a ginger kid who's good at martial arts?

    The Carrotty Kid
     
    Archey, Aug 11, 2020
    #1586
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  7. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    .What’s the best thing about England. ?
    Don’t know but the flag is a big plus.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2020
    Hooky feller, Aug 12, 2020
    #1587
  8. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    I went into a bar at the weekend a saw a sign that read:-
    Hamburgers £1:00
    Cheeseburgers £2:00
    Hand Job £3:00 (Oh yesss!!)
    I called the attractive blonde behind the bar across to enquire. "Can I help you?" she asked with a big smile. "I was wondering (I whispered) Are you the one who gives them ummm!! Hand Jobs?" "Yessssss" she almost purrs "I am" "Well wash your hands," I said "I want a cheeseburger!!"
     
    RedStriker, Aug 12, 2020
    #1588
    Connor and Austiniho like this.
  9. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-8-12_20-10-49.jpeg
     
    Hooky feller, Aug 12, 2020
    #1589
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  10. Ton

    Tonjytyke Well-Known Member

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    Trainee lion tamer to tutor:
    Q. What do you do if the lion begins to charge
    A. Step back. Crack your whip
    Q. What if he keeps coming
    A. Step back. Prod him with your chair.
    Q. What if he keeps coming
    A. Step back. Throw some **** at him
    Q. What if there’s no ****
    A. Oh, don’t worry, there’ll be some ****!
     
    Tonjytyke, Aug 13, 2020
    #1590
    Bleedng Red, Connor and Hooky feller like this.
  11. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Breaking: Greek police have set bail for Harry McGuire at €5000. Man Utd have offered €3000 plus Jesse Lingard, Phil Jones, Chris Smalling, Luke Shaw and David De Gea but was still refused.
     
    Connor, Aug 23, 2020
    #1591
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  12. Durkar Red

    Durkar Red Well-Known Member

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    Everyone was excited at the autopsy club meeting this week
    It’s open Mike night
     
    Durkar Red, Aug 25, 2020
    #1592
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  13. thetykester

    thetykester Well-Known Member

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    Seen this bloke other day with 200'000 rabbits on his head. When I got closer I could see the they weren't rabbits, they were Hairs. :rolleyes:
     
    thetykester, Aug 25, 2020
    #1593
    Connor likes this.
  14. Did

    Didcot Red Well-Known Member

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    The old ones are not necessarily the best. Tony Blackburn told a version of this a couple of weeks ago. What goes around come around. I like it personally.
     
    Didcot Red, Aug 26, 2020
    #1594
  15. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    14DFA837-5BD9-4F4B-A463-064F610CE2D2.jpeg
     
    RedStriker, Aug 27, 2020
    #1595
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  16. Durkar Red

    Durkar Red Well-Known Member

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    Apparently it’s not a good idea to use ‘ beefsoup’ as your computer pass word
    It’s not stroganoff
     
    Durkar Red, Aug 27, 2020
    #1596
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  17. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

    Tenish.
     
    arabian_ian, Aug 29, 2020
    #1597
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  18. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Ace :)
     
    Hooky feller, Aug 29, 2020
    #1598
    arabian_ian likes this.
  19. TitusMagee

    TitusMagee Well-Known Member

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    Did you hear the joke about Sean Connery's brother's newborn daughter?

    It's a little niche...
     
    TitusMagee, Aug 29, 2020
    #1599
    Durkar Red, Hooky feller, TonyTyke and 1 other person like this.
  20. Father Benny Cake

    Father Benny Cake Well-Known Member

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    A quote from him - "A book fell on my head the other day, I blame my shelf"
     
    Father Benny Cake, Aug 30, 2020
    #1600
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