My wife and I watched a box set of Breaking Bad back to back last night. Luckily I was the one facing the television.
There was a robbery in a multi storey car park the other day. That's wrong on so many different levels.
The police arrested two suspicious men in town today. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
A group of athletes met up at Seb Coe’s house for a fish supper Steve Cram brought the fish Tessa Sanderson brought the chips Daley Thompson brought the mushy peas Seb provided the salt and vinegar As they tucked in there was a knock at the door and Seb gets up to answer it “Who is it” asks everyone in unison "It’s Fatima wi t’bread"
psychiatrist to patient: My diagnosis is that you have severe paranoia. I suggest you move to London Patient: Will that cure my paranoia? Psychiatrist: No, but at least it will be justified
I went to the fancy dress shop to pick up my Halloween outfit. The girl handed me a Dundee strip. No I said. I want to look like a count.