Any keen w@nkers on here. Advice needed

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Tyketical Masterstroke, Nov 17, 2020.

  1. Tyk

    Tyketical Masterstroke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,827
    Likes Received:
    13,261
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Dry buumer
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Hopefully when this covid lockdown business is over or settled down my wife and i were thinking of doing a w@nk in the Ladybower reservoir area.

    Anyone done a w@nk in that area? Is it easy to get to and park up and what levels of w@nks are there to consider?

    Any advice greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Mis

    MiserablePontyEnder Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,007
    Likes Received:
    1,772
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sat on my arse watching box sets
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Love it!!! :D
     
  3. Spirit Ditch

    Spirit Ditch Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2008
    Messages:
    3,138
    Likes Received:
    1,172
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South Deedahland
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    What is a watnk?
     
  4. On yer tyke

    On yer tyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2018
    Messages:
    2,711
    Likes Received:
    3,723
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Is it when you do it under water?
     
  5. Com

    Come on Tarn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2017
    Messages:
    1,243
    Likes Received:
    943
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Filth
     
    Hooky feller likes this.
  6. Che

    Chef Tyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Messages:
    19,554
    Likes Received:
    12,573
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    West Stand Bogs
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley

    Only w@nk with suitable shoes and a regatta fleece on. Also I would recommend that you and your ‘better half’ try not to w@nk for any consistent period longer than 6 hours, as it can lead to serious back trouble.

    I hope this assists.
     
  7. scarf

    scarf Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    1,484
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    deep in the Rhubarb Triangle
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    A w@nking stick is useful but remember to change hands at 50 to avoid fatigue.
     
  8. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2016
    Messages:
    17,649
    Likes Received:
    20,111
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Retired, full time grandad.
    Location:
    Mapp.
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Having a W@nk in the open air is bordering on illegal or at best against public decency. There are plenty of w@nkers out there. Ready to report you to the authority w@nkers. Where you may end up in front of a w@nk judge. and you my end up with a fine that you think is w@nk. As there are 2 of you it could be an expensive w@nk, So you have to consider is having a w@nk outdoors worth it. W@nk decision to make, I know. Hope that helps.

    And if you don’t like this post. GO W@NK THISSEN.

    W@nk thread btw. :p
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2020
    Cowboy and BFC Dave like this.
  9. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2005
    Messages:
    15,177
    Likes Received:
    12,532
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Music Producer/DJ/Promoter and Owner of Hush Hush
    Location:
    www.hushhush-events.com
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    My only advice is to cut a hole out of your pockets so you can have a play before you actually get it out of your trousers.

    This pandemic is due to be over on December 2nd apparently so it will probably be really cold at that point.

    Nothing worse than trying to get a 2 inch shrivelled penis to get angry.

    It’ll be like trying to wrestle a bald dwarf.
     
  10. Stephen Dawson

    Stephen Dawson Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2018
    Messages:
    36,221
    Likes Received:
    30,987
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I bet there are some nice spots on the Trans Pennine Trail. Just roll up in your lycra's find a nice bush and watch for ex Barnsley managers to ride past and quickly whack away.
     
  11. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    16,480
    Likes Received:
    14,389
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Harrogate
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Don’t forget a camera, many a good w@nk has been spoiled when you come across something unusual that would have made a great picture!
     
  12. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    10,010
    Likes Received:
    8,510
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Fillingham
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Dog owners have to be really good wa@kers.
    If you imagine you pop your little friend out a couple of times a day over a period of say ten years, more or less, then you're looking at more than 7000 wa@ks.
    Multiply that by several dogs over your lifetime and you're totally fu.cked.
    And then you meet other wa@kers doing the same thing ....
     
    North Yorks Red likes this.
  13. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    21,272
    Likes Received:
    13,378
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    None
    Location:
    Dodworth
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    My advice is to watch out for blisters. Carry a pack of Compeed just in case, and apply plenty of vaseline before you get going. This is especially important in damp conditions. At the first, tinest hint of a strange sensation, stop immediately and adjust your clothing, and apply a Compeed.

    If you're planning a really long multi-day session, it helps to practice at home for about 10 days prior, to get your hand in. If you try this, make sure you use the same equipment as out in the field, so you can get accustomed to it. Once you are underway, make sure you rest properly each evening and expose yourself to plenty of fresh air - this helps recovery and delays the onset of blisters.

    Have fun!
     
    TitusMagee likes this.
  14. Ton

    Tonjytyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2018
    Messages:
    3,847
    Likes Received:
    5,296
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I think the OP needs to be on the government handling of COVID thread where there is plenty of information re: w@nkers.
     
  15. Mrs

    MrsHallsToffeerolls Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Messages:
    27,189
    Likes Received:
    5,764
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Its a wa nk with tea at haif time to re warm the hands.
     
  16. Gordon Owen

    Gordon Owen Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    21,129
    Likes Received:
    11,138
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tarn, sithi
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    There's a great selection of grouse butts that can serve as a great Amsterdam style wanking booth.
     
  17. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    21,272
    Likes Received:
    13,378
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    None
    Location:
    Dodworth
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    True, over the years I've seen loads of w@nkers in grouse butts. It's almost as if they are constructed specially for them.
     
    Gimson&theBarnsleys likes this.
  18. Durkar Red

    Durkar Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2005
    Messages:
    12,055
    Likes Received:
    8,111
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Exorcist
    Location:
    err..durkar
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    You might want to consider trying the Wim Wànkhof method prior to a long wànk in the country it helps with stamina
     
  19. portsmouth tyke

    portsmouth tyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2011
    Messages:
    2,040
    Likes Received:
    1,953
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)

    Depends if you want a nice leisurly/ slow w+=k which will culminate in a brilliant rush or if you like to get your head down and have a good stomping w#%k which is a relatively quick w$^k, but make it aggressive lol, which ever w#$k you decide make sure you leave the wife and kids at home, you dont want to traumatise them showing them your first long w%^k around loudybower after lockdown
     
    Stephen Dawson likes this.
  20. Dillydilly

    Dillydilly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2018
    Messages:
    511
    Likes Received:
    567
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Of course I'm married
     

Share This Page