Sexual Harassment

Apologies if this is a bit long winded. I've been mulling posting this for a few days and then saw a piece on the Sky News feed on the same subject yesterday so I thought I'd go ahead.
As someone who has no kids of my own but have sort of inherited a step daughter lateish in life I was quite shocked by what she described as her experiences since moving to a big city.
She's just gone to college In Dublin having grown up in a small community where everyone knows or knows of everyone else. She's a quite attractive girl, 19 and has a passion for clothes. She scours charity shops for an ever changing wardrobe and just enjoys wearing things she feels good in. Sometimes they look nice, sometimes she looks like a refugee from a hippy commune but that's her choice. She dresses for her own pleasure and every day of lockdown, even when she knows she won't be going out of the door, she carefully picks out what she will wear that day.
She's been itching to get out of the back of beyond and into the big city for years but within two months it seems she's been beaten down by the casual sexism she's encountered there from complete strangers. Being leered at, guys making disgusting remarks as they walk past her in the street, being stared at on the bus. She was on the bus last week and two lads were staring at her and making her feel uncomfortable. she was scared to stay on and scared to get off. Eventually she got off and the two lads came right up behind her and followed her off.
She's late in encountering this because of coming from a small community so I guess she'll get used to it more but why the hell should she have to?
From dressing nicely and enjoying going into the city she's now wearing baggy jeans, baggy jumpers and leaving her hair untouched and is very wary of going out on her own.
Now I've got to say I was shocked when she rang home to tell her Mum about it. I thought that sort of behaviour from men had faded away not entirely but largely. Seems like I was wrong. I've encountered it myself in the past in other blokes and tried to discourage it politely but I think far too politely when I see the effect it's had on her. Why the f**k should a young lass have to change her whole persona and live in fear of the next weirdo that passes her in the street or gets on the bus?! I think the perpetrators probably in the most part reckon it's just a laugh. I've never thought that but maybe we should all think a bit more about the effects this sort of thing has and start to come down harder on the excuses for men that carry on in this way.

 

That's shocking and disgusting, old mate. There are no excuses for such despicable behaviour. None.

 

I'm glad you've posted that as it might resonate more with it being a young British girl experiencing it. And I'm really sorry to hear she's feeling the need to have to change who she is and how she acts.

Sadly, I'm not surprised at all. I wish we could get to a point where people could just let each other be.

 

I'm appalled and digested quite frankly. Why people feel the need to act like this and think it's reasonable behaviour is beyond me

 

Agreed. I've never liked it and always tried to discourage it but I have to plead guilty in that I've never really sat down and considered the full mental impact it has on girls. It's shocking that women should have to spend their lives looking over their shoulder and making calculations about whether or not they're safe even in every day situations.

 

Firstly it’s Dublin - it’s backwards Ireland - it’s Catholic.
And I’m saying this from a person who has an Irish Catholic mother.
Secondly - she should be able to wear what she wants without being pestered - but as all (or most) women know - the less you wear the more attention yer going to attract from men - as men are generally hard wired to have that predatory instinct.
If she’s attracting attention then tell her she should be proud of that.
But unwanted touching is not allowed !!!

 

You haven't got a clue but beyond that I'll leave it to others to reply to that. It's too important a subject to follow you down your rabbit hole.

 

Are you for real?

Dublin...backward Ireland?

All Catholic males/all sexual predators?


Why do you constantly have to make up crap to fit into your arguments?

 

I'm a backward Irish Catholic, my Grandfather came from County Clare. That's the same backward Catholic Ireland who voted to legalise same sex marriages. That's the same backward Catholic Ireland that legalised abortion, giving women the right to make choices about their own body. That's the same backward Catholic Ireland which was more than happy to vote in an openly gay Taoiseach.
Compare that to the ignorant and intolerant folk who are quite happy to sneer at people who voice concern for the rights of the underprivileged, the LGBT community, women, etc. as snowflakes and woke.
Speaking as a backward Irish Catholic, I know which community gives me greater pride in my roots.

 

Agree 100%. Its nothing to do with whether you are young or attractive either. Unfortunately women have come to expect these sorts of occurrences.

Men don't shout at other men when they go for a run, or comment on their appearance. Juat not necessary and I hope I'm bringing my son up to know better.

 

Dear admin

Can action be taken against posters who feel that casual racism,bigotry,racial and sexual intolerance,belittling mental health sufferers and supporters of police brutality is ok to write about on this forum.

 

There is absolutely no excuse for what she is going through mate, and I wish you all the best in what must be a particularly troubling time.

Unfortunately I have few suggestions as to what she could do, as obviously, she's not the problem in this instance, they are.

My only slight suggestion is that she talks to a friend or someone she has met whilst she's been there. Whilst it won't make the problems go away, it might at least provide some comfort in the times when she feels most vulnerable.

Nobody should have to change the way they behave due to someone else's medieval behaviour.

 

Cheers Archey.

 

WTF !!!
I thought I was agreeing with you.
Obviously not.

 

Good that yer proud to be Irish.
I’m BRITISH.
A country to be really proud of.

 

I have Irish, Scottish and English roots and proud to have all in my blood (my children & grandchildren have Welsh roots, too, through my wife). It's the ignorant & intolerant folk in our community that bring shame, in my opinion.

 

Says it all, yet again.

 

This might be the most objectionable thing you've posted on here, and that's really saying something. I can't believe that your response to someone's account of their stepdaughter being harassed is to suggest that it's not the men's fault and she should be proud of it.

Absolutely f*cking disgusting.

 

Your restraint is very commendable and far beyond what I would have in your position.