Very disappointed with Christmas lunch. When I bought my turkey in November, the lady said it would be fine to keep it in the freezer for the month up to Christmas. When I took it out on December 23rd. It was dead!!!
Got sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after 1 minor indiscretion. He slept with 1 of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet..
Man walks up to bar and asks for a large scotch and starts drinking it. He says to the barman “with what I’ve got I shouldn’t be drinking this”. “Oh dear” replies the barman “What have you got?” “25 pence” replies the man.
I honestly thought my Mrs was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland. And then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva...
A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.