Match Day Battle Rap

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Tyketical Masterstroke, Mar 17, 2021.

  1. Tyk

    Tyketical Masterstroke Well-Known Member

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    Comin' out firing like a state trooper
    Your Mum's uglier than Swansea's Steve Cooper
    Sitting in your bedroom with gravy down your vest
    Chatting more sh.it than Colin off Quest
    I've got the moves like Darryl the Yank
    Your moves are like Teresa May - fuucking wànk
    Just like Shakespeare I do the bard-ing
    You're fuucking useless just like Dido Harding
     
    Tyketical Masterstroke, Mar 17, 2021
    #1
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  2. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    I could put a decent beat behind that for you if you want to release it?
     
    Terry Nutkins, Mar 17, 2021
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  3. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    Maybe we could A*Hinch to be the MC for it.

    Word.
     
    Terry Nutkins, Mar 17, 2021
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  4. Gimson&theBarnsleys

    Gimson&theBarnsleys Well-Known Member

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    Hee, hee. I thought the original said "Your moves are like Teresa May - wànkety wànk".:D
     
    Gimson&theBarnsleys, Mar 17, 2021
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  5. Cun

    Cunning Stunt Well-Known Member

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    The Full Ponty has a rival .......
     
    Cunning Stunt, Mar 17, 2021
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  6. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    It was young Adam that liked a battle rap wasn't it? Or was it his dog Colin.
     
    RedStriker, Mar 17, 2021
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  7. man

    mansfield_red Well-Known Member

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    Your rhymes are relegation standard, just like Wycombe
    And like Tarn tonight I'm going to absolutely dick 'em

    Battle me? That's a death wish and you're no Charles Bronson
    Your chances of winning are smaller than Lee Johnson

    My verbal high press will make your head spin for days
    You're out of your depth like that daft tw*t Morais

    Your mum weighs more than that fat git Akinfenwa
    My lyrics hit harder than a headbutt from Chris Benoit

    So stand back boy, and learn from what the men say
    If rap was a league you'd be going down with Wednesday
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2021
    mansfield_red, Mar 17, 2021
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  8. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    Daryl the Fresh Prince of Barnsley...

    Now, this is a story all about how

    My life got flipped-turned upside down

    And I liked to take a minute

    Just take a knee

    I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Barnsley

    In Edmond, Oklahoma born and raised

    On the playground was where I spent most of my days

    Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool

    And all shootin some football outside of the school

    When a couple of gays who were up to no good

    Started touching schlongs in my neighborhood

    I got in one little fight and my mom got angry

    She said 'You're movin' to a club called super Barnsley'

    I begged and pleaded with her day after day

    But she packed my suite case and send me on my way

    She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.

    I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.…
     
    Terry Nutkins, Mar 17, 2021
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  9. Prince of Risborough

    Prince of Risborough Well-Known Member

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    Best I’ve seen so far.

    Any more?
     
    Prince of Risborough, Mar 17, 2021
    #9
  10. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    F*****g hope not

    Have you got anything by the New Seekers?
     
    Lordtyke, Mar 17, 2021
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  11. The Full Ponty

    The Full Ponty Well-Known Member

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    Quality.
    Count me in.
    I’ll do mine tonight, just to make sure I don’t lose my job.
    Absolute class.
     
    The Full Ponty, Mar 17, 2021
    #11
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  12. The Full Ponty

    The Full Ponty Well-Known Member

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    Get in.
    The BBS is a sleeping giant.
    I’m on it...
     
    The Full Ponty, Mar 17, 2021
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  13. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant thread this, love it
     
    Bossman, Mar 17, 2021
    #13
  14. pon

    pontyender Well-Known Member

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    Talking about battle cries: Can anyone remember the handful of lads at the bottom right of the Ponty, who burst into song just after kick off, every single game, in the late 1990s. It only lasted about 20 seconds and I probably misheard, but it sounded like they were repetitively singing about "A bit of violence". It's been bugging me for years.
     
    pontyender, Mar 17, 2021
    #14

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