What did you think you was good at

Squash for me, joined the squash leagues in Dewsbury and they make you join in the bottom league - league eight. I was way to good for that as I’d played since I was about to 10, moved up every month until I got to league one, there was a preliminary league above that, played one of the ladies in the premier league, didn’t even get more than 2 points in a game. The difference between league one and the premier league was bigger then between league one and league eight - amazing step up.

 

Football analysis

 

On my retirement I proclaimed that I was going to perfect what I thought I was good at, that’s doing nothing. It’s a work in progress, but after eight years I’m just about there. Much to the chagrin of the lady of the house.

 

Chess for me. Thought I was pretty good then came up against the school champion, a lad called Stephen Cook, at Kirk Balk and he was different class. Think I won once against him in about 30 attempts. Thinking back now it surprises me we played chess at Kirk Balk

 

Writing. I loved writing stories as a kid/teenager. Always fancied I'd have a crack at a novel, but somehow life just got in the way and there were too many distractions. I've tried to keep my hand in, as it's still something that I enjoy, but a meagre collection of short stories is as far as it goes. I just don't have that single-mindedness or the time to fully devote myself, even though I'm retired now. I did submit one or two stories to magazines, but no luck.

 

I went to Kirk Balk and I used to love a game of chess! I seem to remember there was a chess club a couple of lunchtimes a week but I don’t think it lasted.

I’d quite like to pick it up again when I’m a little less time poor. Then again I say that about a lot of things and it never happens!!

 

There was indeed, that's where Stephen used to win against me Didn't mind too much as he was a mate and in the same form as me

 

Washing up.. ​

 

Mediocre at most things I have tried:

Football - I do possess a few trophies including 3rd team player of the year 1984/5. Back in 1971 I was a member of the Wombwell SOY 5-a-side team that was runners up in a tournament at Darfield. Only the winners got a trophy, so Stan Crossland, bless him, who was an apprentice at Taylors the Printers at the time, managed to print out certificates for the team members.
Cricket - again I possess a few trophies, including one entitled Friendly bowler (I hope it means best bowler in friendly games played on Sunday but that is open to interpretation).
Golf - never got near to breaking 100 strokes on an 18 hole course.
Squash - I was once described as like a "ferret on elastic". I gave up as I was unable to find someone bad enough to give me a game.
I did once come 7th in the year 3-4 (now called year 9-10) cross country.
I have won the odd game of crazy golf.

What I can say is that I enjoyed participating in all of the above.

 

Academia for me.

Breezed through GCSE’s, found them laughably easy, 9A* without really trying, similar story with A levels, thought I was a genius.

Then I rocked up at Cambridge and could barely keep my head above water. I didn’t know anything, but not only that, I couldn’t think in the same way that some of these people did. Just some absolutely remarkable people who were on a different planet IQ wise. Absolutely mental. Scraped an alright degree grade but had to graft like a *******, (although it didn’t help that I spent my 1st year travelling up and down to see us in the Premier League).

 

I used to be a half decent keeper/conservation cleaner in historic houses.
Can I keep my own house in order?
Can I ********.

 

I was the same. Never was brave enough to send anything to be published though!

 

Sex.
Thought I was the bees knees until me and this woman I'd picked up in Kiko's in Pontefract were stripping off in the bedroom.
She took one look at me naked and said "Who do you think you're going to please with that?"
Quick as a flash (no pun intended) I replied "Me !"
I was never the same again.

 

When I was young, my grandparents were heavily involved with a local swimming club - Granddad was the chairman and Grandmother was the club secretary. So I started swimming at 2, and by 8-9 I was fairly good. I was competing at county (Humberside) level and quite often winning including against older kids - both breaststroke and backstroke. Then we moved to Barnsley and I was given the choice if I wanted to join the local club (probably Wombwell) and I declined - it wouldn't have been the same without the family connection. We still went with school in those days and I did 2 miles a couple of times, but even now I wonder what might have been if we hadn't moved here...

 

Badminton.

Told a lad at 6th form that I was a dab hand with a badminton racket. He took me to play at his badminton club. It was a humbling experience.

 

It’s such hard work to write a script,tried once gave in after few pages

 

I think it wa your we played football against after teaches strike had finished am 50 this year. Our defence had a few stones chucked at em, am sure it wa kirk balk.

 

Chess for me as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty good compared with the average bloke on the street. But when I started dissecting my games with an International Master a couple of years ago, I started to realise just how many light years behind the pros I really am.

 

Running

I was Barnsley area Cub Scout cross country champion 1984. Yes I was and you can’t take that away from me!

I’m now overweight and enjoy less vigorous activity

 

You could always use a pen name. Helen Rouge or Helen Rossa or summat.

I tried a few different genres, mainly supernatural, sci-fi, fantasy (the stuff I like to read in the main), but I also tried humour, childrens fiction, even romance. Whatever grabbed me at the time. I'm quite pleased with some of it, but it's never going to see the light of day. That's probably not such a bad thing.