What’s a memory, experience or claim to fame you have that sounds far-fetched?

I saw a small tornado in England. People don’t believe that.

My brother-in-law gained an international cap in football (nowhere near English standard). Nobody believes that.

What is something true you can bring up where other people go “oh arr”?

 

I don't know of another wrestling archaeologist.

 

I once played 5's and 3's with Rigsby!!

 

I met and had a brief chat with Bruce Springsteen in Manchester.

 

I've walked inside one. It was in Bradgate park near Loughbrough, it was like a tower of leaves going round so me and my lads ran over to it and walked inside it with the leaves spiraling round us. A magical experience.

 

I bumped into 3 members of Pink Floyd on Newcastle station in 1974 and got their autographs on the song sheet from a Gong album I'd just bought, Roger Waters said "You don't listen to that rubbish do you?".

 

I invented the game of Rugby during a break time at Royston Comp in 1821, when during an impromptu game of ‘greb tunnel’ I stooped to pick up my dinner money and barged through the crowd to the other end of the playground.

This gave rise to a game known as ‘Royston’ which was later copied by some toffs at a posh school who claimed all the credit for it.

 

I once got enjoyed by David Cameron whilst wearing my pig outfit

 

I once saw a Seagull in Scotland eat a little Pigeon. Sounds mental, and it was.

 

When I was about 14 I served Ian Botham a shot of whisky whilst he was dressed in a giant costume.

 

I’ve stood on top of the world’s tallest mountain and did it without additional oxygen. Admittedly I only walked the last 200 yards or so.

 

I met a woman who agreed to marry me.
If you saw me you'd think she was mental.

 

Being wined and dined by an Arab Sheik complete with belly dancers for entertainment in the Dubai Hilton when it was the only decent hotel long before Dubai was developed into what it is now. I was trying to sell a second hand refurbished chipboard factory as a ( 'turn-key operation' ) on a commission basis - long story - and it bloody well near happened (except for the outbreak of the first Iran/ Iraq war scuppered all the planned development in the UAE )
At our initial meeting on the previous day, he had asked what sort of materials could be used to make chipboard as there was obviously a conspicuous absence of trees in the Emirates. As things had gone very well up to that point, and he clearly had a good sense of humour, also I had been very well briefed by the owners of the Factory (UK based) and done a lot of research (since I was in no way an expert regarding chipboard manufacture) , I pointed out that, by using the correct resins it could be made from virtually any solids and made resistant to the humidity and heat in the region, adding flippantly that you could even use racing camel's dung. The standout moment was at the aforementioned banquet he introduced me to his business partners as "this is the man who is going to sell me a factory making furniture from camel dung!" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! The Dom Perignon was flowing like water (at the other end of the table to mine I might add) although I did get to quaff a couple of glasses.
Genuine story...

 

I talked the San Francisco 49ers into buying Leeds United which was the driving force behind their revival as a Premiership team.

They now own a 37% stake.

 

I was in an American kids movie Dolphin Kick.
My character name Sam the Salty seaman.

 

I've got far too many from my time in Russia, especially, the early years, to know where to start. However, all of them pale into insignificance compared with my grandad's tales from when he was working in Iran when the revolution broke out, and then Saudi Arabia in the early 80's. Just to get a flavour of things, he paid someone to smuggle him into the Soviet Union in the back of a truck for a day trip from Iran (God only knows what would've happened if he'd been caught, but I suspect that the words "diplomatic incident" would have been high on the list.) He also witnessed a public execution in Saudi Arabia, complete with negotiations for blood money. Makes my Siberian gangster experiences look very tame.

 

What exactly were you doing?

 

Grace Kelly gave me a wave as her limousine passed me at Tannadice.
Her wave was definitely aimed at me as I was the only person standing at the top of N Isla Street.

Talking of Kellys I have also been in the company of Lorraine Kelly

 

When I was a little kid I got Lucille Ball's autograph when she was in London.
A few years ago I got Charlton Heston's. Still got it.

 

Did you talk about squirrel porn or artificial grass?