O/T Neighbour dispute advice

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by pontyender, Nov 10, 2021.

  1. man

    mansfield_red Well-Known Member

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    But if a right has been granted then there will be an obligation not to substantially interfere with it (i.e. by removing the post and not replacing it).

    Calming the situation is ideal, but I wouldn't be going out of my way to spend money to appease an awkward **** when I am within my rights not to.
     
  2. pon

    pontyender Well-Known Member

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    It all started when he had the front wall demolished for a front of house parking area. It was done carelessly and a small part of the mother-in-law's wall was taken away as well. It left a gap at the side of her front gate which he didn't even acknowledge let alone do anything about it. This was 6 months ago and the reason for the argument today. The gate he wants taken down is further down the drive at the side of the house and attached to one of his side fence posts with the agreement of the previous owner.
     
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  3. Ses

    Sestren Well-Known Member

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    This is what I'd do. It's either de-escalation or cowardice, take your pick! I have always found that being annoyingly calm and accommodating in the face of somebody trying to get one over on you winds them up a treat though, which is always a fun bonus.

    I would say that if the neighbour's gone so far as to suggest something which is (on the face of it) so unreasonable then the opportunity to avoid ill feelings might already have passed...
     
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  4. Ses

    Sestren Well-Known Member

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    If she takes down the gate will he fix the wall?
     
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  5. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    The reality is though these things are almost impossible to enforce anyway.
     
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  6. Duntpasstome

    Duntpasstome Well-Known Member

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    I would take the gate off his post and fit a new one on my land. He would better hope though that his cat doesnt ever piss in my garden.
     
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  7. Duntpasstome

    Duntpasstome Well-Known Member

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    I say we have a BBS group that goes round and sorts stuff out. We need a leader of the Esther Rantzen mould We can do it the easy or hard way its up to them.
     
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  8. Old Goat

    Old Goat Well-Known Member

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    Can I be in the Hard Way Squad please?
     
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  9. sadbrewer

    sadbrewer Well-Known Member

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    A problem could arise if the permission was never written, unless the previous owner was prepared to stand up that is.
    Having been involved in right of way dispute once, my advice would be to try and smooth this over... perhaps mediation. Not only can the bad feeling damage your quality of life, once legal action takes place it can ruin your bank account.
     
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  10. KamikazeCo-Pilot

    KamikazeCo-Pilot Well-Known Member

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    Mediation and some sort of compromise/understanding is better than allowing bad feeling to fester. Be best if one of the parties went to see the other for a constructive chat without having any pre-empted red mist. Takes guts to go and see someone in a situation like this when you're pissed off but after having my own neighbor problems that's what I would do. Dont back down but suggest reasons and explanations while deliberately being in listening mode and not getting angry during the conversation.
     
  11. Ome

    Omen Well-Known Member

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    I believe the term for a gate is swing not swivel ;)
     
  12. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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  13. Stephen Dawson

    Stephen Dawson Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't sound like there will be any swinging.
     
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  14. Redarmy87

    Redarmy87 Well-Known Member

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    No, they could however engage in some fencing to settle the dispute :D
     
  15. Tek

    Tekkytyke Well-Known Member

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    A peaceful settlement surely 'hinges' on whether or not you can resolve the situation 'post-haste' :)

    Coit!
     
  16. Stephen Dawson

    Stephen Dawson Well-Known Member

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    Hang the gate the other way.
     
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  17. Abruzzo Red

    Abruzzo Red Well-Known Member

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    How will that work, they will be going in when they want to go out and going out when they want to go in :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2021
  18. Stephen Dawson

    Stephen Dawson Well-Known Member

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  19. Bfc

    BfcTim Well-Known Member

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    Take gate off his post and then tell him to remove the concrete on your mother in laws Land holding it in
     
  20. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    Be polite and civil. Get her to go round with a peace offering, apologise for coming across poorly in the past regarding the wall but explain why it caused her to feel the way it did because she was worried about the wall, how to repair it, the unexpected cost etc. Tell him she had permission from the previous owner to put the post up but that if he really wants it moving she will do so because she would rather do that than fall out completely.

    I can be an absolute bellend as we all know but I'd much rather swallow some humble pie, take the blame for something that isn't actually my fault and remain on good terms with the people I have to share a boundary with and see on an almost daily basis than I would want to take the high ground, be proven right and start getting into technicalities of length of time etc to keep a fence post but in return for that I have a miserable existence hating my neighbour.
     

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