Happiness/enjoyment

Some lovely replies.

Nice to find out where folks happy places are.

 

Heaven Adores You is a lovely portrait of his musical legacy, and as you say heartbreaking at the same time. That must have been amazing to have seen him, was he with a band or on his own? And do you remember the year?

I can imagine you would never know which Elliott you were going to get at live shows - it's a lottery opening up different shows on YouTube (I've seen a fair few but there are so many and I forget which ones I've watched). It can depend on his state of mind / whether he is intoxicated or not / on meds / what year etc. The ones from 2003 are particularly hard to watch, but he still carries each performance even when he berates himself for messing up a song; his own worst critic.

 

Thank you for this thread, nice to see the replies

I don't think happiness is a destination, I think you go through life with its peaks and troughs and learn to deal with them. What I've learnt is not to let the lows get too overwhelming when you're down there (I have been there), and not to get too over-the-top excitable when things are going well, because you don't know what's around the corner, but for what it's worth..

Things I've given up that have made me happier this year:

- alcohol (though I still miss a pint of guinness every now and then);
- ciggies (though I crave i rollie once in a while, it's only during times of stress and I remind myself I'm happier without);
- social media. Finally got rid of Instagram and WhatsApp in January, so other than the BBS no more SM for me;
- acquaintances/attachments that were no good. I don't like to think of 'getting rid of people' from your life, but sometimes we stay in touch with people for the mere sake of it and when you take a step back you realise that you should both go your separate ways. You also notice those 'friendships' that you keep going for the sake of it where you are the one making most of the effort, and ask yourself why?
- fish. I am now a fully-fledged vegetarian

Things I've acquired that have made me happier this year:

- an amazing girlfriend that I couldn't live without. Not ashamed to say, my best friend who I have known for a few years, and the best thing to happen to me


Now @Jack Tatty (Formerly LouisBalfour), the same question to you.. Happiness/enjoyment - where do you find yours?

 

Family / holidays / pub / oakwell

 

Not feeling my best to be honest (very very low ebb mental health wise) which is why i asked and the many replies have made me smile.

Mine.

A weekend lie in.
Walking the whippets round Temple Newsham.
Queens live aid performance.
A fine Speyside whisky.
Seeing my step daughters grow up in to fine beautiful intelligent young women.
Finding something on Netflix that both me and my wife appreciate and then binge watching it.
Bamburgh
Plockton
Skye
Robin Hoods Bay.

 

Sorry to hear that. I always think of that Smiths lyric" I'm not happy and I'm not sad" and that's probably my default position . I am usually content though, and have more happy times than sad ( hope that continues)

 

My family & our new dog.

 

I'm glad the replies made you smile and you've a good list there Best to focus on the things that make you happy and accept the things you can't change, including the sadness that hits you/circumstances. It's a difficult balance and hard to navigate sometimes. Take care mate

 

Hi, from memory he had a 4 piece band. It was about 1999/2000. My girlfriend at the time was a big fan too. It was the Academy 2 I think, on Oxford Road, so I'm guessing about 500-600 there. The songs were performed well, but he seemed pretty out of it most of the time & didn't really say much. Been re-listening to either / or & XO for the first time in a while. He was pretty unique certainly.

 

I guess it would have been around the time of this: Elliott Smith - Live at Bumbershoot Festival, 2000 [HD Remaster] - YouTube Some interesting electrified versions of acoustic tracks. Great that you got to see him

 

I saw him solo, upstairs at the Garage. Either/or period. Dingwalls on the XO tour, Forum on Figure 8, with bands. A couple more, but can’t remember where. Loved him playing Don’t Fear the Reaper..

 

Cheers for sharing, watching this now.

 

It's a cracker!

 

Amazing! I don't get jealous really but.. I'm jealous!

 

I think thats a good way of summing it up.

 

Sorry for the long post. I got a bit carried away rambling on...


I realised a long time ago that I mean nothing. In the grand scheme of things I'm just a tiny collection of atoms put together in such a way that I can function. When I die I'll be forgotten, I've most likely already been forgotten by the vast majority of the people who have known me throughout my life.

I don't mean that in a negative way at all. Most of us are the same in that way really. Nothing special, nothing extraordinary to be noticed by or remembered by.

For me realising that and accepting that made me happy. I'm human, I'm not always happy, but I came to realise that I'm just me and it doesn't matter if I like different music to everyone else or different movies or TV shows to what people consider acceptable for my age and gender. If Im not the kind of person to go out trying to pull a different lass every weekend etc. When you accept that what you've got is enough then it makes you happy, or it does me.

I drive a modest car, live in a decent but modest house and have a job that's hard work and not exactly highly paid. So what? The house keeps me dry, the car gets me where I want to go and the job gives me enough money to pay my bills and have money left over that if I fancy a takeaway I don't have to worry about paying for it.

So what makes me happy? Waking up in a morning. Sounds cheesy but it's true. Each day is a gift for this collection of atoms to continue working in a way that I have life and we forget that too easily.

I enjoy watching a variety of TV from reality like Britain's got talent and I'm a celeb through to hard hitting and thought provoking documentaries and everything in between. I absolutely loved glee and don't care if it wasn't manly.

I love music. I'm not an expert on any genre like many on here are. I couldn't tell you any facts about any particular band or group, I've never even been to a concert or gig. I'm not particularly a fan of any specific band like most people tend to be. But I can sit randomly playing songs on YouTube all night. 1812 overture at 6pm. B*Witched at 6:30. I like sad songs that make me think. I like rock music that gets the blood pumping and I like cheesy pop that has a catchy tune to make me smile.

I love walking. Not really sure why that is but just being alone and walking for hours without seeing another person is so relaxing.the fresh air and openness just makes me feel content.

I love my family. I don't have a girlfriend or kids of my own (what a surprise) but I really enjoy spending time with my nephew and niece. Seeing my sister, my mum, my dad. I like my own company so u don't see them a ridiculous amount of time but when I do I really enjoy it.

I like cleaning my house. Well I don't like cleaning it, I hate it. But there is no better feeling than looking around afterwards and thinking it looks and feels ok. The kind of feeling you get when you put on new bed sheets.

I like working. I like feeling knackered at the end of day knowing it means I've put a shift in and that my money has actually been earned. I like the feeling of accomplishment when I know that I've done everything I can that day to get the job done and I've managed it.

I love Barnsley. I don't watch much football on TV at all. Probably 2 or 3 games a year. But i love going to oakwell. It might sound weird but I feel safe there. It just feels 'right' and like it's a part of me. That's one of the big reasons that I am so vocal about our owners and about when the club doesn't seem to do something as good as it could because it's not just a hobby it's part of me.

The BBS makes me happy. I've never attended a gathering and haven't really met anyone off here properly. Obviously I will have without realising it or just in other ways but I've never met anyone as supertyke meeting John Peachy for example and yet in many ways I consider pretty much everyone on here a friend, even the ones who hate me. In some ways I consider everyone an extended family. I've known some for the best part of 20 years. I can name all of biglils family, i feel like I know Stephen Dawson's Laura and George and feel honoured that Jamdrop posted her and Will's wedding photos on here.

I may come across as a miserable sod but in reality I'm happy. I'm happy that this one insignificant easily forgotten person gets to experience the world every single day.

Who needs flash cars, mansions and a private yacht really? A song lyric that I think about pretty regularly (and probably demonstrating my awful taste in music) is from Sheryl Crowe "it's not having what you want. It's wanting what you've got"

And a song that basically sums up what I mean by the entire post is this

 

Quite sad me, as my mental health has been on the decline for a good few years now. I’ve all but given up the things I used to enjoy. I go to work and that’s about it. I’ve just lost all interest in everything, including myself. So much I could be doing but can’t seem to find the motivation. Everything feels like too much effort.
I occasionally enjoy going out on my Motorbike during the warmer months, just to get out on the open roads with no particular destination in mind.

 

Sorry to hear this mate. I'm no expert so won't offer any advice, except to say there are plenty of supportive people on here as I'm sure you know, and my door is always open if you need to offload/a chat.

 

I feel like I know more about the real you reading that in five minutes than the last two years of seeing you post! Thanks for sharing.

 

Sorry to hear this, I treat people who are depresssed with therapy and would recommend this to see if it helps:

When we feel low our motivation drops. We think we will do things when we feel like it, but the reality is that when we are depressed that motivation may not return for a long time. If I asked you (or anyone else) though whether you've ever gone into work when you really didn't feel like it, Im guessing you will have at some point, right? That proves that we are capable of doing things even when we aren't motivated.

Our motivation is a bit like a car battery. When it isn't used for long periods it will be hard to get started, so we have to give it a kickstart, then if we use it we will find it catches up. The science and studies back all this up. We call it "Behavioural Activation". If we act as if we are motivated, evidence shows it catches up naturally- basically, "fake it until you make it" (hate that saying!).

When we are depressed all our routine goes out of the window, so I would recommend breaking your tasks into three sections: routine, pleasurable, and necessary. Routine would be stuff like chores, self care such as showering; pleasurable would be any hobbies, watching tv, seeing friends, exercise; necessary might be work, paying a bill, sorting something out that may have been put off such as looking at car insurance quotes etc.

Id then create a bit of a timetable, mix the above tasks up and then schedule them in. We are more likely to do something if we commit to saying when as opposed to "some time next week". When depressed all structure goes out of the window. By doing these tasks we get a sense of achievement and in turn that releases natural antidepressants such as endorphins when exercising etc. You will need to stick at the activities for a decent time before it kicks in, so say if I make myself play my guitar, it normally takes 15 mins or so.

Next, I'd google "valued living questionnaire" and give yourself two scores for each of the 10 areas on it. First, score for how much you value each section, second, score how you feel you are meeting that right now. For example, if you value friends as a 10/10, but you've withdrawn from them and you're scoring 2/10, then you know that is something you need to work on. The more you bridge these gaps, the less depressed you feel. We become depressed when we lose touch with what we value in life.

Hope this helps and happy to answer any queries.