Apparently there was storm damage at Hillsbourgh last night and it caused £50000 worth of improvements.
A photon checks into a hotel. The receptionist asks if it needs any help with its luggage to which he replies "I haven't got any. I'm travelling light."
Paddy starts knocking nails in the floorboards. Throwing away those upside down. Mick says "why are you doing that, throwing em away. Paddy. "They're upside down" Mick "Yer daft bugger. Save em, those are for the ceiling"