Apologies for the source and I have doubts that it’s true but this did make me laugh. Slipped and fell my ars….
A primary schoolteacher in Sheffield explains to her class that she is a Wednesday fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Owls fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand? "Because I'm not a Wednesday fan, " she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well if you are not a Wednesday fan, then who are you a fan of? "I am a Barnsley fan and proud of it, " Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a Tarn fan? " "Because my mum is a Barnsley fan, and my dad is a Barnsley fan, so I'm a Barnsley fan too!" "Well, " said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Barnsley fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then? Mary smiled, and said............... "then I'd be a Wednesday fan"
One door closes, another one opens One door closes, another one opens One door closes, another one opens One door closes, another one opens That's the advent calendar done with!
I think he is reading one of these.... https://forreadingaddicts.co.uk/language/20-unintentional-innuendo-book-titles/
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! " "What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating." "This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman. "What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!" "What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I switched c0cks," he replied. She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"