Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. Mark Stephenson

    Mark Stephenson Well-Known Member

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    Mark Stephenson, Dec 3, 2021
    #2641
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  2. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Last time I ate my pillowcase. I thought it was a marshmallow. Prefer that.
     
    Hooky feller, Dec 3, 2021
    #2642
    Stephen Dawson likes this.
  3. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    99,9% of people have problems with maths.
    ...
    I’m glad I’m in the remaining 1%.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2021
    Hooky feller, Dec 3, 2021
    #2643
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  4. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Apologies for the source and I have doubts that it’s true but this did make me laugh. Slipped and fell my ars….

     
    Farnham_Red, Dec 3, 2021
    #2644
    Stephen Dawson likes this.
  5. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Dec 3, 2021
    #2645
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  6. old

    oldschooltyke Well-Known Member

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    A primary schoolteacher in Sheffield explains to her class that she is a Wednesday fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Owls fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
    The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says,
    "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?
    "Because I'm not a Wednesday fan, " she replied.
    The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well if you are not a Wednesday fan, then who are you a fan of?
    "I am a Barnsley fan and proud of it, " Mary replied.
    The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a Tarn fan? "
    "Because my mum is a Barnsley fan, and my dad is a Barnsley fan, so I'm a Barnsley fan too!"
    "Well, " said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Barnsley fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?
    Mary smiled, and said...............
    "then I'd be a Wednesday fan"
     
    oldschooltyke, Dec 3, 2021
    #2646
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  7. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    North Yorks Red, Dec 3, 2021
    #2647
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  8. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Dec 3, 2021
    #2648
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  9. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    One door closes, another one opens
    One door closes, another one opens
    One door closes, another one opens
    One door closes, another one opens




    That's the advent calendar done with!
     
    Redstone, Dec 3, 2021
    #2649
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  10. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Dec 4, 2021
    #2650
  11. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Dec 4, 2021
    #2651
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  12. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Dec 4, 2021
    #2652
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  13. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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    winged avenger, Dec 5, 2021
    #2653
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  14. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Dec 6, 2021
    #2654
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  15. kestyke

    kestyke Well-Known Member

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    kestyke, Dec 6, 2021
    #2655
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  16. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Dec 6, 2021
    #2656
  17. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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    winged avenger, Dec 6, 2021
    #2657
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  18. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    Redstone, Dec 7, 2021
    #2658
    Jamo and Mr C like this.
  19. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! "
    "What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."
    "This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
    "What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
    "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
    "What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
    "That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
    "I switched c0cks," he replied.
    She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"
     
    Lordtyke, Dec 7, 2021
    #2659
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  20. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Dec 7, 2021
    #2660
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