Limericks

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Del Rosso, Jan 28, 2022.

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  1. Del Rosso

    Del Rosso Well-Known Member

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    There was a young man from Dumfries
    Who had sex with his ducks and geese
    He went too far with his budgerigar
    And his parrot phoned the police


    Come on join in its all doom and bloody gloom.
     
    Del Rosso, Jan 28, 2022
    #1
    TonyTyke, WG Red and RedKen-dal like this.
  2. pompey_red

    pompey_red Well-Known Member

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    There once was invester called Paul
    He went too far with his haul
    The players weren’t fit, the manager shīt
    And now we’ve been left with fùck all
     
    pompey_red, Jan 28, 2022
    #2
    Sopwith Camel, tykesfan, ScubaTyke and 14 others like this.
  3. Shy Talk

    Shy Talk Well-Known Member

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    There once was a young man from Kent
    Whose dick was so horribly bent
    To save himself trouble
    He bent the thing double
    And instead of coming he went
     
    Shy Talk, Jan 28, 2022
    #3
    Julian Broddle's Perm likes this.
  4. Loko the Tyke

    Loko the Tyke Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    There was once a man from Miami
    Who many people thought was a fanny
    He loved reinvesting
    But his personality was testing
    And his newspaper interviews got a Grammy
     
    Loko the Tyke, Jan 28, 2022
    #4
    Kettlewell likes this.
  5. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    There was A PM who’s aTory
    Who always told a false Story
    The lies he told
    All came to unfold
    But all’s ok coz he’s sorry
     
    Tarntyke, Jan 28, 2022
    #5
    Cowboy and Kettlewell like this.
  6. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

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    There once was a man called Chien Lee,
    Who bought bought Nice OGC.
    He then bought Barnsley, Thun, Oostende, Nancy
    And now he hasn’t a f**king b**tard clue what to do with any of them other than drive them into the lovely personting ground and sh*t on all their w**king fans the cu*t….

    There once was a man called Julian Broddle’s Perm,
    Who had severe f**king Tourette’s Syndrome
    He swore like a lovely person, and spoke out his ass
    But daft cu*t still got a ‘season pass’
    B**tard!!!
     
    Julian Broddle's Perm, Jan 28, 2022
    #6
    Shy Talk, KamikazeCo-Pilot, ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon and 2 others like this.
  7. Loko the Tyke

    Loko the Tyke Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    My favourite
     
    Loko the Tyke, Jan 28, 2022
    #7
  8. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

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    Ian MacMillan often contacts me when he is running low on inspiration.
    I’ve had to block him in all honesty.
     
    Julian Broddle's Perm, Jan 28, 2022
    #8
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  9. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    A year ago BFC hit the height
    Now we are totally s#ite

    Short but succinct
     
    North Yorks Red, Jan 28, 2022
    #9
  10. Loko the Tyke

    Loko the Tyke Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    It was the last line that really got me. On the first one.

    The ability to get 21 words in to something so succinct hasn’t been seen since Daniel Stendel left Oakwell.
     
    Loko the Tyke, Jan 28, 2022
    #10
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  11. SuperTyke

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    There was a dodgy bloke called Chien Lee
    Who led the charlatans PMG
    I'm sorry if it's blunt
    But fèck of you cun t
    Now take fat Paul with you and flee
     
    SuperTyke, Jan 28, 2022
    #11
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  12. John Peachy

    John Peachy Well-Known Member

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    It used to be "Iley out",
    In it's day that had a lot of clout,
    Until Chien came along,
    And everything went wrong,
    I think 14 points and maybe a trout.
     
    John Peachy, Jan 28, 2022
    #12
    Old Goat likes this.
  13. Old Goat

    Old Goat Well-Known Member

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    A group who owned eighty percent,
    Turned out to be awfully bent,
    The fans thought they had billions,
    But three quarters of a million
    Was removed from the club and then spent.

    When the fans pressed the new CEO,
    He said with a shrug, "I don't know."
    He said, "I'll have to ask Paul,
    Cos he tells me fùck all,
    But the flatbreads are making some dough."
     
    Old Goat, Jan 28, 2022
    #13
    Cowboy, x11barnsley, KamikazeCo-Pilot and 5 others like this.
  14. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

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    Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Bernie Taupin.
     
    Julian Broddle's Perm, Jan 28, 2022
    #14
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  15. KamikazeCo-Pilot

    KamikazeCo-Pilot Well-Known Member

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    They closed the west stand for a laugh
    But turns out they made a big gaff
    The fans see right thru em
    And just want to boo em
    Cos all their decisions are naff
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2022
    KamikazeCo-Pilot, Jan 29, 2022
    #15
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  16. troff

    troff Well-Known Member

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    At Barnsley it’s all going wrong

    We’re all coming up with a song

    Yes we are in the sh.ite

    But try not to fight

    Or the protests won’t last very long

    …

    Paul Conway, Chien Lee and young Grace

    Are bound at some point to save face

    So off they might fuc.k

    If we have any luck

    Besides, Accrington Stanley is ace
     
    troff, Jan 29, 2022
    #16
    KamikazeCo-Pilot, Old Goat, Loko the Tyke and 1 other person like this.
  17. Old Goat

    Old Goat Well-Known Member

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    The last time I saw Barnsley win,
    The Queen Mother was still drinking gin,
    JR Ewing was scheming,
    Reggie Perrin daydreaming,
    And Led Zeppelin were making a din.
     
    Old Goat, Jan 29, 2022
    #17
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  18. man

    mansfield_red Well-Known Member

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    Paul said "progress is my intention"
    But it seems beyond his comprehension
    He hired Markus Schopp,
    The charisma-less flop
    And thus f*cked our divisional retention
     
    mansfield_red, Jan 29, 2022
    #18
    Shy Talk, KamikazeCo-Pilot, Loko the Tyke and 1 other person like this.
  19. Loko the Tyke

    Loko the Tyke Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    The recruitment plan was insightful
    But players with experience they were frightful
    24 was the limit
    First team games, not a minute
    Was Conway doing this to be spiteful?
     
    Loko the Tyke, Jan 29, 2022
    #19
    Shy Talk likes this.
  20. Nor

    NorthernDreamer Well-Known Member

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    There was a young man from Nantucket
    Whose **** was so long he could suck it
    As he wiped his chin
    He said with a grin
    If my nose was a lovely person I could f*ck it
     
    NorthernDreamer, Jan 29, 2022
    #20
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