Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant. Many a true word....
     
    Brush, Jul 7, 2022
    #3101
    Connor, Dalestykes, Tonjytyke and 5 others like this.
  2. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Jul 7, 2022
    #3102
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  3. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    arabian_ian, Jul 7, 2022
    #3103
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  4. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Hooky feller, Jul 7, 2022
    #3104
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  5. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    RedStriker, Jul 8, 2022
    #3105
    Connor likes this.
  6. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    RedStriker, Jul 8, 2022
    #3106
    retired red, ScubaTyke, Connor and 4 others like this.
  7. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Took Granbairn art last neight for 1st time, gor him a Fosters, he dint like it so i had it, gor him a Carlsberg, he dint like it so i had it, gor him a Maretti, he dint likr it so i had it, gor him a Cider, dint like it so i had it, gor him a Guiness, dint like it so i had it, gor him a Whiskey, dint like it so i had it, by 6 o'clock I cud hardly push the Pram home.
     
    Winker, Jul 8, 2022
    #3107
    DSLRed, Hooky feller, Connor and 3 others like this.
  8. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Man on long flight sees a beautiful woman reading a book called "Strange but true sexual facts." She notices him looking & says"This book is very interesting.Did you know that the Red Indian has the longest Penis & the Irish have the thickest!"

    "Oh i'm sorry my names Mary whats yours?"

    Man replies"Tonto Murphy......."
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Jul 8, 2022
    #3108
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  9. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    A woman with small breasts buys a finely carved mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door.

    The next morning, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my boobs size 44."

    There is a flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions.

    She runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

    The husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror, mirror, on the door, make my penis touch the floor."

    There's a flash of light, and both of his legs fall off.
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Jul 8, 2022
    #3109
    Simon De Montforte, Hooky feller, Connor and 3 others like this.
  10. cor

    cornwall tyke Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    cornwall tyke, Jul 9, 2022
    #3110
  11. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Tekkin r lass to specsavers just got this text from Lusting Loins.

    Thankyou for your order from our Sex Shop,
    You asked for the large thick red one from our featured wall products,
    Please select another product, thats our Fire Extinguisher.
     
    Winker, Jul 9, 2022
    #3111
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  12. Acido Tyke

    Acido Tyke Well-Known Member

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    Yesterday morning I made a belgian waffle. Then later on in the day I also made a French man talk absolute bullox.

    Last night I had beef stew with dumplings. I know I shouldn't call her that, but believe me shes a really big lass!.

    My girlfriends dog died recently, so to cheer her up I got her an identical looking one. Now shes furious though, and she shouted at me.. "What the f*k am I going to do with 2 dead dogs!". :eek:
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2022
    Acido Tyke, Jul 9, 2022
    #3112
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  13. scarf

    scarf Well-Known Member

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    scarf, Jul 10, 2022
    #3113
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  14. Acido Tyke

    Acido Tyke Well-Known Member

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    Recently I made the mistake of filling up the escort with diesel, and she nearly died. Shes still in intensive care now actually!.

    I pulled into a layby once and there was a sign saying No Dumping. I thought ohh thats ok, Im only going to have a pi*ss.

    I once nearly completely lost it at a roundabout, but after calming down a bit I then went absolutely apesh*it on the slide and the swings as well. And I won't tell you what I did in the sandpit!.

    You know when you get a new car, your worried about it getting scratched or dented or even mucky. Well I came out of the supermarket the other day and I was horrified to see a big dirty gash on the bonnet. So I said "Madam, will you please pull your pants up and get off my car!!". :eek:
     
    Acido Tyke, Jul 10, 2022
    #3114
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  15. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Well Tom you did not think that logo through.
    You absolute TIT.
    IMG_3069.JPG
     
    arabian_ian, Jul 11, 2022
    #3115
    Brush, ScubaTyke, anstonred and 5 others like this.
  16. Tyke_67

    Tyke_67 Well-Known Member

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    Trotters Independent Traders.....:)
     
    Tyke_67, Jul 11, 2022
    #3116
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  17. Acido Tyke

    Acido Tyke Well-Known Member

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    Hey it's good to be back again. The last time I was here, a bird asked me for se*x. But I had to really disappoint her and let her down gently, we had se*x!.

    I hear that you can do sperm donations through the post these days, so I was quick and I came in a jiffy.

    I got a dvd about improving foreplay, and I think it was informative. But I fast forwarded through the first bit of shoite though, because it was very boring.

    I went to the meeting of the premature ejaculaters support group recently. But I got the days wrong, and the receptionist said Id come too early!.
     
    Acido Tyke, Jul 12, 2022
    #3117
  18. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Gary Delaney by any chance are we pmsl
     
    shed131, Jul 12, 2022
    #3118
  19. Acido Tyke

    Acido Tyke Well-Known Member

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    Yep, he's ace at the one liners. :)
     
    Acido Tyke, Jul 12, 2022
    #3119
    shed131 likes this.
  20. Acido Tyke

    Acido Tyke Well-Known Member

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    Heres a bit of the roast of Charlie Sheen (from 10+ years ago!), by the roast master Jeff Ross. :p
    ps - Warning, this does contain swearing!!.


     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2022
    Acido Tyke, Jul 13, 2022
    #3120
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