Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. exiled

    exiled Well-Known Member

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  2. DriffieldRed

    DriffieldRed Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

    Guess who just came crawling back.
     
  3. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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  4. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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  5. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    That’s me as well
     

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  6. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    3 Parrots for sale,£100 £200 and £15 a women asks ''why is that parrot so cheap? The shopkeeper replies ''cos it used to live in a brothel'' the women thinks its funny so buys the parrot. When she gets home the parrot says flipin heck a new brothel'' the women laughs. Her two daughters come home the parrot says flipin heck new prozzies'' the girls laugh. The husband comes home and the parrot says bloody hell mark..I aint seen you for weeks!
     
  7. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    The government have decided to keep money as it is as 95% already have Charlie on it
     
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  8. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognised it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier:
    He said to the female whale. "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
    They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
    Soon, however, the whales realised the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore.
    The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
    At this point, he realised the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
    "Look." She said "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
     
  9. exiled

    exiled Well-Known Member

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  10. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Premature ejaculator looking for a fling,must have nice firm breasts,long legs and a real tight puss..awwww ******* forget it !
     
  11. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Wath lass is run over on Tesco crossing. Paramedic turns up and asks her "Where are you bleeding from?"
    "Burman Road" she replies "And what the ***** that got to do with you!?"
     
  12. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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  13. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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    The home have since got in to trouble for it.

     
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  14. troff

    troff Well-Known Member

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    Should hope they did get into trouble for it. Four old boys had a stroke.

    The others couldn’t reach.
     
  15. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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  16. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    One that may amuse the grammar fanatics, guardian readers, and others on here

     
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  17. Acido Tyke

    Acido Tyke Well-Known Member

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    Went round to see how grand-dad was doing with his new hi-tech printer, and he said he didn't know how to use it.
    I tried explaining that he had to press the ctrl and the p buttons at the same time, but hes hard of hearing as well.
    So I shouted control p.. and he said no he can't do that either, and he hasn't been able to since turning 60.

    I then said I'd take the dog out for a walk and he said don't forget the sh*it bag. I thought thats not a nice thing to call her, but ohh well come on gran, do you want to come with us ?.
     
  18. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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  19. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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  20. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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    Would be a better watch than the funeral.

     

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