Mental stuff

I've been going through similar situations. Mental health has been in the gutter for a long time.

Admitting you're suffering is a big first step. Having done that get yourself a GP appointment. Depending on your situation they'll be able to prescribe something to help soften your moods. They can also give you details of local services that you can self refer to - in Barnsley it's the IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) service but I'm sure everywhere has something similar.

Try Andy's Man Club. There are groups up and down the country that meet on a Monday evening at 7pm. They're really good. Just somewhere to go and meet other guys who are in similar situations. Really good place to just vent and get rid of some of your crap to people who don't judge. Free tea (or coffee) and biscuits too!

 

A big thing for me was letting family know , I know that isn't an option for everyone and it's not one size fits all, but I went to the mental health lead at my doctors . I also started going to andy's man club, it really just help to talk and nobody judges because we've all been through our own struggles . Hope some of this helps , just remember you are important.

 

Great post.

 

I was a closet addict, none of my family or friends knew. Got really bad - ended up having a total of 10 seizures in a short period of time. Got found out.

Best thing that ever happened to me was having that first seizure, because then everyone knew. Been clean for almost 18 months, started therapy and slowly getting my self physically better after not even being able to walk up stairs on my own.

Point to this comment is, talk about it, like you've done today. Talk to your friends and family, and professionals. Wish I did it years ago, and as I said, rather ironically, it was only when I got found out, is when I got better. I cant wait to start going back to oakwell. I promise you, there are people who care for you - more than youll probably even realise bud.

Its scary and can take a lot of commitment, but 100% it is worth it. Hope you start seeing some of that light again soon matey,

Frog

 

@BostonRed i have sent you a private message.

 

Very brave of you to post this mate and I sincerely wish you all the best in your recovery. Take care.

 

Echo what a lot of what people have said.
Commenting on others circumstances is not always wise but if any of the following help at all...
Go to doctor and ask him to sign you off work for a few weeks just so you can breathe. Ask him if he can refer you for support or, if you're comfortable ask about anti depressants.
Talk to work and tell them you're struggling and could do with some support. Mention that you're going to the doctors...
Why not book yourself two or three days away somewhere relaxing just to get out of the situation?
Have you any close family that could pop in and stay for a few days or you could go and stay with?
Go for a walk where there are trees, birds...
Physically look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what a great person you are!
Try 10 minutes of controlled deep inhalation and breathing a couple of times a day
Cook your favorite meal or get your favourite takeaway delivered.
Listen to people (especially those who've struggled) when they say things will improve - they ARE NOT talking ****** even though it might be tempting to think so.
There are agencies out there to help besides any your GP may suggest - some people on here are good sources of info and no doubt will be PMing you.
Some/all of the above things you may feel are inappropriate but at the end of the day you'll get through things. You will. I know and others on here know. Well done for telling folks. Best wishes to you.

 

I wish you all the best going through this. You have done what for me was pretty much the hardest step and articulated how you feel both to us and yourself. I struggled with that part for years and it was so destructive to me and my relationships.
I finally found a therapist that i could completely open up to and for me it was life changing. Talking through everything helped me so much, and gave me the mental tools to cope with life and enjoy it again. I hope that you can find someone to open up to.
PM me if you want to.

 

Something like this is a great short term boost. Couple it with watching a favourite movie or show on Netflix or an hour or two online gaming if that's your thing and it gives you the kind of break you need. Everything won't suddenly be ok but the recharge will mean you'll have a little more strength to face things.

 

Hey Boston, well done for posting this. This board is amazing for support in these kinds of situations.

In terms of practical things, I think the most important thing is to have some time off work. A lot of your feelings at the moment are centred around there so you need to step away from it for a while. Your doctor can sign you off.
What helps me is to write an email/text whatever to the person who is causing the feelings but not send it. It just helps to dump it all out of my brain; similar to writing a list when I’m carrying too much stuff around in my mind.
Longer term, if it’s not practical to stay at your place of work any longer, can you start formulating a plan for leaving? You might not be up to actually job searching yet but could you come up with some rough checkpoints like by next week I’ll… by next month I’ll… etc. etc. to give you something constructive to work towards and a focus? Even if you never need those plans because things do improve, it never hurts to have a back up idea.

Keep posting, keep talking and you’ll get through this.

 

Am in a situation myself mate,cant pull a positive from ought apart from a bfc win,not wanting to wake up when i go to bed,worst thing you can do is sat alone thinkingbut its hard to find motivation to do ought,anxiety is terrible, am just telling you this so you know your not alone,hang in there pal if we can over come it thrre cant be much we cant achieve.keep smiling its hard to be sad with a smile on your face.good luck.

 

Great point this. I do a bit of volunteering. A couple of friendship calls a week so only a small commitment in terms of time. But it gives me such a lift to give a bit back!

I’ve been speaking to one chap every other week for a couple of years now. To listen to his journey is great from where we started. He still has his ups and downs like we all do, but I told him back then things will get better if he keeps believing and does his very best to help himself, as well as accepting the help of others. He didn’t believe me! But here we are, he’s going great guns. Of course I’ve only played a very small part in that, but it’s lovely to see his progress, giving me a boost at the same time!

 

I can only echo what everyone had said. Well done for speaking up takes a lot of courage. As @fired said everything in life is temporary, and most of us pretend to be happy when we aren't.

A couple of years ago my wife had what was basically a breakdown in her mental health that led to her been sectioned and spending 3 months in hospital. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through so I've no idea how she came out of the other side of it. But she did, 2 years on she has even managed to come off all her medication.
The point being in the darkest of moments we can't see the hope of better days, but all things pass. Keep talking and things will get better.

 

You've taken the first step, mate, by actually posting about this. It truly is a brave move by yourself. I can offer no professional help, but if you'd ever like to chat and get things off your chest, please get in touch.

 

This BBS is fantastic, people on here really care, this thread shows it at it's best. @BostonRed Let us know when you're next at Oakwell and we could all meet up in the fan zone.

 

good luck from a fellow sufferer

 

I have suffered for 10 years, only this last year have I had odd days when my mind didn't ruminate my problems 24/7. thanks for sharing ,hope one day I can have some peace of mind

 

Definitely this.

 

I know this feeling all too well. I'm sure there's a little b'stard that lives in my head and hammers away on a self destruct button whenever anything starts to feel positive as well.

 

Good luck fella