O/T Single again now.

Cheers mate. I get what you mean. Everything is fact though. No liable. Got the txts archived to prove it. I've got what I needed to off my chest so happy for mods to remove. Just needed to vent. No where else to do it. I've been left with nothing.

 

Understand that .
I was there once.

 

Sad news mate. Life certainly is a bitch.

 

Truly sorry to hear this. I can't offer anything by way of practical advice, but hang in there, mate. I'm sure you'll get through this.

 

Sent you a PM

 

Hang in there pal it does get easier I haven’t seen my daughter for 10 years and I have the pleasure of paying £448 per month, my ex uses the CSA to her advantage
Snakes with tits the lot of them

 

Don't tarnish all women with your bad experiences. Just like all men aren't abusers/sex offenders, all women aren't what you describe. I know this because I have a mother, sisters & friends.

It's a horrible situation but the biggest victim in all this is little George - and I hope it gets sorted swiftly and fairly.

 

Sorry to hear the bad news Stephen. I can't offer first hand experience because I have not been through it but 2 of my step kids have both been there and got the t-shirt. It's horrible.

You've already been given all the best advice further up the thread but the ones I would reiterate are to

a. Always be reasonable in dialogue. One of my two was at war kwhere as the other one and his ex were focused only on the kids welfare from the outset and were very amicable despite the cause of the split. I know which one is happier.

b. Remember though, you have rights too. The law generally favours the female in these situations but she cannot reasonably stop you from having contact with your son.

c. As someone said above, pay what the CSA make you pay. No more. You have your own life to fund as well.

d. Document everything.

You will get through it, both of ours did. And both are now happier for it.

 

Sorry to hear your news. It's an awful situation. My only advice based on 14 years experience is put the kids first in all decisions and never bad mouth their mother in front of him/them. It pays off!

 

Can't offer any advise as I have little experience of how sh*te this must be for you. There is some good practical advise been offered and above all do whatever to keep George close. I can only hope it all works out in the end for you mate. for what it's worth your one of my favourite posters on here and I hope you stay active in the BBS community...tek care pal.

 

Keep yer chin up pal.

 

Sorry to hear this mate. I can't say I have any experience in this area but I'm available for a chat anyway, as I'm sure many on here are.

 

Keep strong Steve, I went through all this 5 years ago and my work colleagues, mates and esp mates at my running club helped me get through some pretty dark days, for goodness sake |Speak to people, it will help, I guess I was pretty lucky in that my girls were 19 and 17 so no real issues there....and there are stacks of folk on here who would help wherever required...just ask and talk....Graham.

 

Don't you dare give up on seeing your son. He has a right to see both his parents and CSA is a separate issue. Which of course you should pay but seeing your child isn't dependent on that .

 

You can work out what you need to pay on the CSA calculator (Remember that's the minimum amount) and pay it into her bank account reference child maintenance. Set up a direct debit/ standing order for each month. The CSA take a cut if you use them. And then have a conversation about what's best for George regarding access, and stick to it .

 

We have but couldn't agree. She was holding out for 300. Since then she's contacted me about access but wants me to have him at the family home overnight while she goes out. Also Saturdays during the day. I'm not allowed to take him to my parents because they have a dog. I won't have him overnight so she got tit on again and it's going to mediation. She watsapped me tonight to say goodnight to George but she started laying into me so the call ended me telling George I love him and goodnight.

 

A lot of support and good advice here. What struck me was the fact that Laura was 'out clubbing with her mother.' The mother would be well aware that this would cause friction between you and Laura and I wonder how much string pulling the mother has been doing. Does the mother dominate Laura to the point that when Laura has to choose between her mothers' wishes and your wishes she will always do her mother's bidding?
For whatever reason does the mother want you out of her daughter's life? Does Laura really want you to leave her and George ?

 

All different thoughts are going through my head mate. Won't do me any good now. Fact is Laura didn't want me anymore. Grieving over that. George is the cherry on the cake. It's a real double whammy. I feel empty.

 

Emotions will be running high on both sides just try as much as possible to remain clam when dealing with her. If you need to vent afterwards then go for it as you have on here. Anger in conversations you have will not serve you well. Even if she gets angry just try and stay calm, I know it's a lot easier said than done but it really is the better approach.

 

£300!? Jesus she’s taking the piss there! I’ve just gone through CMS, and I know that if you have applied in the last few days technically the first payment will be from July and they add on arrears from the date of the application to the next 12 months payments, so you’ll be waiting a long time to see your little one if she’s serious about that.

Sounds like she’s trying to dictate & control you straight from the bat in regards to childcare. You need to work out if you can have a 1-1 conversation & co parent, or if you need to go straight through mediation, & if she’s still being difficult then it’s time to get a solicitor.

However, from the information you have provided, it sounds to me like she might have some underlying mental health issues, with the threat of killing herself, & going out all the time, it’s like she’s wanting to escape real life & pushing you away, maybe she needs some support & she’ll come to her senses once she receives the right support, whatever that may be.

Either way keep strong, I’m sure things will start looking up soon enough!