Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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    winged avenger, Jun 22, 2023
    #3801
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  2. exiled

    exiled Well-Known Member

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    exiled, Jun 23, 2023
    #3802
  3. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Premature ejaculator seeks bubbly, blonde female with big ti...
    Hang on, doesn't matter now.
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Jun 27, 2023
    #3803
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  4. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church ..
    ‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession ..
    I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month .’

    The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.’

    Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional ..
    ‘Father,
    it has been two months since my last confession .. I’ve had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months ..’

    This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is this Fanny Green ..?’
    ‘A new woman in the neighborhood ,’ the sinner replied ..

    ‘Very well ,’ sighed the priest ..
    Go and say ten Hail Mary’s ..;

    At mass the next morning , as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon , a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary ..

    The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest ..

    Her dress was green and very short , and she wore matching , shiny emerald-green shoes ..

    The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart , but just enough to realize she wasn’t wearing any underwear ..

    The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered , ‘Is that Fanny Green ..?’

    The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply ,
    ‘No Father , I think it’s just a reflection from her shoes’ ... !!!!
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Jun 27, 2023
    #3804
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  5. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    North Yorks Red, Jun 29, 2023
    #3805
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  6. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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    Many a true word....
     
    Brush, Jun 29, 2023
    #3806
  7. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

    Justice Fingers.
     
    Mr Badger, Jun 29, 2023
    #3807
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  8. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Jul 1, 2023
    #3808
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  9. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    North Yorks Red, Jul 1, 2023
    #3809
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  10. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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    Funny, when I worked at Jaguar and I got a call from the (outsourced to India) IT help centre, the lady in Mumbai always called me BRAIN. True story.
     
    Brush, Jul 2, 2023
    #3810
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  11. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Jul 2, 2023
    #3811
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  12. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    North Yorks Red, Jul 2, 2023
    #3812
  13. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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    winged avenger, Jul 2, 2023
    #3813
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  14. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    I was in Wath Tesco & a bloke came up to me & asked,"Lost something mate?" I said,"Yes,my wife." He said,"Me too!" I asked,"What does she look like?" He replied,"Blonde,long legs,mini skirt,no knickers,no bra,big boobs & see-through top."Whats yours look like?" I said,"Who gives a damn, lets look for yours..
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Jul 3, 2023
    #3814
    Redblueunwhite, Winker, Hooky feller and 1 other person like this.
  15. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police womans uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a fuckin job, she's not for him!!..
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Jul 3, 2023
    #3815
    cornwall tyke, Tyke The Tree-Frog, KamikazeCo-Pilot and 3 others like this.
  16. Sim

    Simon De Montforte Well-Known Member

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    I arranged to take a girl out who identified as a wheeley bin ,
    Thing is can’t remember whether it’s Tues or thurs I’m taking her out.
     
    Simon De Montforte, Jul 3, 2023
    #3816
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  17. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Mr C, Jul 3, 2023
    #3817
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  18. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Boris. "Only god can judge me"
    God "You're a ctun"
     
    Hooky feller, Jul 3, 2023
    #3818
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  19. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    Very funny !!
     
    Mr Badger, Jul 4, 2023
    #3819
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  20. Red

    Redblueunwhite Well-Known Member

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    Some absolute beauties to make yer laugh/smile. Keep em coming.
     
    Redblueunwhite, Jul 4, 2023
    #3820
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