Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    IMG_4246.JPG
     
    arabian_ian, Sep 8, 2023
    #3961
    Stephen Dawson and tosh like this.
  2. Red

    Redblueunwhite Well-Known Member

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    Redblueunwhite, Sep 8, 2023
    #3962
    anstonred likes this.
  3. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    North Yorks Red, Sep 9, 2023
    #3963
    anstonred, Stephen Dawson, thetykester and 3 others like this.
  4. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    North Yorks Red, Sep 14, 2023
    #3964
    thetykester, Baldrick, Tarntyke and 3 others like this.
  5. Shy Talk

    Shy Talk Well-Known Member

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    Bear & rabbit having a **** in the woods.
    Bear says to rabbit "Don't yer just hate it when **** sticks to your fur?"
    "Not really" says rabbit. So bear picks rabbit up and wipes his arse on it.
     
    Shy Talk, Sep 14, 2023
    #3965
    Stephen Dawson, dearnevalleyviper, Baldrick and 1 other person like this.
  6. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    1. Did you hear about the cartoonist found dead at his home? Details are sketchy.

    2. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt! (Had to ask the Mrs :rolleyes:)

    3. What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs!

    4. Last night my wife and I watched two DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

    5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: 'sorry we don't serve food here'

    6. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? Up his sleevies!

    7. Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off? He's all right now!

    8. I slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace!

    9. I went to a seafood disco last week! Pulled a mussel!

    10. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
     
    Hooky feller, Sep 15, 2023
    #3966
    anstonred, Stephen Dawson and dearnevalleyviper like this.
  7. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Wonder if we’ll see anything like this at Oakwell
     

    Attached Files:

    Tarntyke, Sep 15, 2023
    #3967
  8. Gimson&theBarnsleys

    Gimson&theBarnsleys Well-Known Member

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    did you get those from the Ken Dodd Book of Jokes? :oops:
     
    Gimson&theBarnsleys, Sep 16, 2023
    #3968
    Stephen Dawson, dearnevalleyviper and Hooky feller like this.
  9. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Saw him at Barnsley civic, practically 3 and half hrs 2 of one liners. Missing a load of em laughing at the previous one lol.
     
    Hooky feller, Sep 16, 2023
    #3969
    Stephen Dawson and Gimson&theBarnsleys like this.
  10. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Bloke buys a Barnsley Parrot but gets sick of it saying, "I'm from Barnsley and I'm hard as ****!" so he puts a Kestrel in its cage.
    Next morning, he finds the Kestrel dead and the Parrot says, "I'm from Barnsley and I'm hard as ****!" so the bloke puts a Golden Eagle in the cage.
    Next
    morning he finds the Eagle dead and the Parrot with no feathers!
    As he looks in the cage, the Parrot says, "Had to take me coat off for that ******!"
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Sep 16, 2023
    #3970
    ScubaTyke, Stephen Dawson, ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon and 2 others like this.
  11. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    PoIice man turns up at Paddys house. His wife answers the door.."Mrs Murphy we have terribIe news..Paddy has faIIen into one of the Guinness vats at the brewery and drowned....HoIding back the tears she asks if he died quickIy.."We don't think so Mrs Murphy" repIied the officer, " apparentIy he got out 3 times for a piss..
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Sep 16, 2023
    #3971
    Stephen Dawson, Simon De Montforte and Hooky feller like this.
  12. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    So the three Irish sisters Florence, Francis and Fanny go to the local dance!,
    An hour in Fanny goes to the bathroom, just then a local lad joins the remaining two sisters on the dance floor!….
    After a few seconds he looks down and says “Wow, you girls have got big feet!”…..
    They reply “ if u think there big wait till u see our Fanny’s !”…..
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Sep 16, 2023
    #3972
    Stephen Dawson and Hooky feller like this.
  13. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Sep 16, 2023
    #3973
    KamikazeCo-Pilot and BobT like this.
  14. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    The creation of the Camel
    upload_2023-9-16_10-43-33.png
     
    Tarntyke, Sep 16, 2023
    #3974
    BobT and Hooky feller like this.
  15. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    This girl gave me a wink in the pub last night and asked if I'd like to go back to her place and see her beaver
    Odd animal to keep as a pet........................................Sex therapists say the most effective way a women can arouse a man is by licking his ears. . . Personally I think its ******** !
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Sep 17, 2023
    #3975
    Stephen Dawson and Hooky feller like this.
  16. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Sep 18, 2023
    #3976
    ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon, Baldrick, Hooky feller and 1 other person like this.
  17. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Sep 20, 2023
    #3977
  18. KamikazeCo-Pilot

    KamikazeCo-Pilot Well-Known Member

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    Just got my new collection of reading material from Barnsley library:
    Dinosaurs Of The Mesozoic period - Terry Daktill
    A Short History Of Your Water Closet - Lou Roal
    Britain's Broken Voting System And How To Fix It - Gerry Mannder
    How You Can Make A Million - Robin Banks
    How I Lost A Million - Owen Banks
     
    KamikazeCo-Pilot, Sep 20, 2023
    #3978
    Stephen Dawson and Simon De Montforte like this.
  19. Did

    Didcot Red Well-Known Member

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    The last one reminds me of the old adage:

    If you owe the bank £1,000 it’s your problem. If you owe it £1,000,000 it’s their problem.
     
    Didcot Red, Sep 21, 2023
    #3979
    Stephen Dawson and KamikazeCo-Pilot like this.
  20. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Sep 21, 2023
    #3980
    Redblueunwhite, DSLRed, Hooky feller and 2 others like this.
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