SuperTyke owns 74 different pairs of Crocs, but only ever wears one (not one pair - one shoe). Stephen Dawson only ever sits down to use the toilet due to uncontrollable spraying JamDrop pays full price every time she goes to Pizza Express - which is religiously once a week except during Thanksgiving - referring to discount voucher users as "absolute shiitpots" ChefTyke also posts as several other comedy aliases on this board, including "Young Nudger", "Jay" and "Merde Tete" JLWBigLil owns a 74 acre mansion in Athersley, and his full name is Lord James Leonard William "Big" Lilliput III. He never occupies it however due to it's significant distance from his preferred gentleman's outfitters.
In defence of the original we do have another 25 days to run yet.. so you never know it could get better
@Julian Broddle's Perm has won the Chelsea Flower show 3 times. Contrary to popular belief, @StatisTYKE is not a cat. @Cudeth Archey likes to tell people that he's younger than me.
To be honest bigLil, driving around town in a pink Bentley with that number plate is a bit ostentatious and leads people to believe you are rather well endowed
Started on 74, finished on 74. TMs favourite lottery number is 74 and he's yet to realise that the ball doesn't exist.
All I get from that is Super Tyke has one leg, Stephen Dawson has common sense (come on we've all a number 1 sat down) and Jam Drop doesn't sweat at Pizza Express.
I erm… I may have ever so slightly exaggerated a tad, there, mate. I did, once, nearly come second(ish) in The Wombwell Window Box Extravaganza, though I am quite sure Fat Brenda, from Bartholomew Street, had artificial Lillys. And my one and only venture onto TikTok was to show off a patch of stolen astroturf that I put outside my Auntie Carol’s dog kennel up Kendray. But, given I got two likes, I classed that as a ‘win’. So, it would be fair to say, your ‘3 times’ statement is a very mild exaggeration. I consider it just the two wins.
To be fair I've never seen @Chef Tyke and @Jay in a room together, so there could be some mileage in this.
My apologies mate. I only said 3 times as that's the number of matches you've missed due to gardening, so I put 2 and 2 together
My mate, Bong Eyed Colin, who used to do the pools coupons round Cudworth, reckons @Redhelen isn’t even a Barnsley fan. He says she’s called this because of how red she goes when she’s angry which, allegedly, is pretty often. He actually claims that, back in the 90s, she was even angrier and was known as Purplehelen and once got 200 hours community service for hospitalising four members of a rock tribute band who refused to play Club Tropicana by Wham. I also know of quite a few folk who refuse to go in The Pinfold even though it’s over twenty years since ‘that episode’ of hers that made the front page of The Chronicle.
It's my understanding that Tyketical Masterstoke considered the priesthood one evening while eating fish and chips, as the salty taste reminded him of the seaside and a chance encounter with Pope John Paul II who was holidaying at a 1* bed breakfast in Salcombe. He was humbled by the fact that a prestigious figure could stay in such lodgings, which made him re-assess his own world-view and the superiority complex that has weighed him down all his adult life, having attended Cambridge, and all that. But would that mean he would have to give up his Freddie Mercury leather pants? He pondered on this while munching on fig biscuits and strumming his guitar, out of which he penned the as yet unreleased parody song 'Big Pharma's gonna get you' to the tune of 'Instant Karma' by John Lennon.
@Chef Tyke is actually useless at cooking and lives off microwave meals and Pot Noodles. The closest he has ever come to actual cooking was to cook a single fish finger on his wife’s hair straighteners.
Ah yes but what people don't realise is that I alternate between the left and right croc at various points throughout the day. Nobody has ever noticed
