Switzerland - wow, amazing vocals! I downloaded the app to vote but you have to pay? To vote on an app? Sorry Switzerland.
France - bloody knew it. They never let you down. Everyone else is doing gay disco and they go all Edith Piaf on you.
Armenia for me. As crap as everything else, but at least it was unmistakably Armenian crap. I mean, based on knowing absolutely nothing about Armenia prior to seeing the Armenian song.
Austria - rum de dum dum, classic lyrics She's like a Tyrollean Danii Minogue. Chorus is good, rest is pap.
Switzerland, obvs. Croatia had the best lyrics though I'm a big boy now I'm going away and I sold my cow Bye mom, bye dad Meow, cat, please meow back