5pm tomorrow!!!

I get released.

 

5pm tomorrow, I'll still be a free man having never commited a crime, where's my likes

 

n/t

 

I wish you well.

 

Altogether now, sing along....

"I see my light come shining
From the West Stand to the East
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released", Dylan '67.
Congrats!

 

I want to go home.
I want to go home.
Prison's a **** hole.
I want to go home.

 

I hear the train a coming
It’s rolling round the bend

 

Your village will be rejoicing!

 

Good for you. Assuming that this isn't a spoof account, I genuinely hope that you get all the support you need to make sure you don't end up back inside.

 

Have you really NEVER committed any crime though? I can think of plenty of minor misdemeanours I've carried out, especially in my university days and the immediate aftermath.

Bought booze with fake ID and drank it in public.
Bought weed.
Added a couple of extra items to an insurance claim when my flat got burgled.
Hid some mini cheeses in a basil plant I bought from Tesco, as I was skint and starving.
Nicked an industrial-sized bogroll from a pub, as I was skint and wanted both another pint and a clean arse in the morning.

I'm pretty sure there are loads more.

 

Send me 10 grand now or I will report you to Tesco’s toilet roll police

 

I'll send it over just as soon as I've flogged those items from my insurance claim on eBay.

 

Happy retirement

 

Deal …..

 

Must say this was my thought too...!

 

Of course I have. Barring the insurance fraud , those are juvenile, "growing up" kinds of things. I'm talking about crimes that can see you getting a custodial sentence as a fully grown adult.

I partially commented tongue in cheek. I genuinely hope the OP comes out and turns their life around. The fact that their name is HMP Red and is openly posting about the fact that they're serving at His Majesty's pleasure, makes me think that they're not exactly ashamed of their actions.

If it were me, I'd be mortified that I'd found myself in such a situation, or that I'd left my kids and missus at home with no support from me, or the shame my family would feel every time someone asked where I was as they hadn't seen me for a while etc etc.

It's good to feel shame sometimes, it means you understand that the current course you're on is wrong, and you can actively change things for the better.

I just don't get the impression that the OP is in any way ashamed of being in jail - but that's their issue I suppose.

 

Used to swap the price tags over in John Brittons especially on Subbuteo, came off a couple of times, managed to aquire a 2 tiered stand and corner pieces for a fraction

 

When I used to work at Tesco in Stairfoot, at the end of a shift near Christmas, a few of us shop floor staff were drafted onto checkouts to clear the queue. The person who'd been previously tasked with marking down fresh produce put their yellow sticker gun down and took up a till.

Next thing I know, a couple turned up at my till with a trolley full of finest champagne and single make whisky, with the barcode on every bottle covered over with a "Reduced for quick sale £2.95" sticker on it.

Nice try! Time to hit that big button marked Security!

 

Ah, price tag swapping. Many a new CD was purchased for the Bargain Bin price in Sleaford Woolworths. I sincerely hope I'm not part of the reason they went under.

 

Damn, thought were were announcing a signing!