Made me laugh

Was that Taylor Swift fans?

 

Is lanes 1 and 2 what a Scot would say if they lose their car USA and Canada did well...

 

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity




(seen this before?...... reprise page1)

 

I soooo....want to do this to the inconsiderate parking plebs I encounter occasionally

 

Sheff Wednesday have a new matchday Kop band

 

https://images.app.goo.gl/jRSarfyzMGadabRu5

 

I’m positive I said Do I?

 

Loads of great names within the link.

 

Very accurate!

 

Sperm 1. "How much further to the uterus?"
Sperm 2. "We'll worry about that when we get past the tonsils!"

 

Classic A little boy gets ten pounds for his birthday & rushes down to the the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gets the ball down from the rack & gives the shopkeeper his ten pound.
"Sorry son",says the shopkeeper. "This ball costs twenty pound, but you've only got ten pound".
Thinking quickly,the boy looks up at the club balls & says,"Ok. If you blindfold me & I guess the ball will you let me have the ball for ten pound?" The shopkeeper curiously agrees and blindfolds the boy.
First up he gives the boy an Arsenal ball. "Ok",says the boy placing his ear to the ball." I can hear the blasting of two cannons this must be an Arsenal ball."
"That was a lucky guess," said the shopkeeper. "Lets try another one".
So he hands him a Millwall ball. "Ok",says the boy placing his ear to the ball again. "I can hear a pack of rampant lions, It must be a Millwall ball."
"Goodness me,"
says the shopkeeper. "If you get the next one right I'll let you have the ball for nothing" & passes him another ball.
Again the boy puts the ball to his ear & after a few moments he says,"That's a Sheffield Wednesday ball."
"I don't believe it," shouts the shopkeeper. "How on earth did you get that one? I suppose you heard a Owl Hooting?"
"No," said the boy. "It's going down".

 

Just watching the 50km walking race and it reminded me of that time I needed a ***** in Wetherspoons.... #Olympia2024

 

Just heard that Rotherham Police have broken up a ELD riot in Wath, the men were seen fighting with sticks outside Pickfords chemist!!!!!

 

A bunch of Irishmen turn up at the Olympics with a truck full of wooden posts and barbed wire.
Olympic official says, "what do you lot want?"

Paddy replies, "we're the fencing team."

 

An Barnsley lass walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?"
"Yes" she said, "A fella’s just dragged me into a bush and had his way wi’ mee.
"Can you describe the man?” Asked the Sergeant
"Yes, he wa’ wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two rate big pads from his feet up to and ower his knees, one on each leg".
"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.
"Eye, I reckon", said the lady, "He were likely an Australian Cricketer".
"That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent?"
"No", she replied. "I worked it out ‘cause he weren't in for very long".