The best nicknames you have heard

What's the best nicknames you have heard and how did the person get the nickname?

Years ago we had a new apprentice electrician called Thomas. I was in the office on the day he was inducted and he was a god fearing young man wearing a big crucifix.

He was paired up with a qualified electrician as his mentor who was known as Pervy Ted, within a few weeks god fearing Thomas was going dogging and wearing gimp suits at a swingers club.

A few months in he was helping the lads rewire an empty house, under the floor boards they found some 1970s mucky magazines.

An hour later the lads couldn't find Thomas or the mucky magazines, they looked high and low but they couldn't find him anywhere.

One of the lads needed to get some cable and trunking from the van, he opened up the back of the van to find Thomas and the mucky magazines....Thomas's trousers were around his ankles with a wet wipe in one hand and his todger on the other.

From that day onwards he was known as "Thomas the w@nk engine"

 

Lad who used to work at our place became known as Dipstick. He was topping up the oil on his car, said it took him ages. He was pouring it in the dipstick hole.

 

A bloke across from us has a really bad limp his nickname snipers nightmare,heard it re somebody else thought it was funny.

 

Guy I used to work with had a stutter he was nicknamed hot chip

 

Of my immediate neighbours, I have Talking Timeshifts, Gozzer, The Human Ice-pop, Pepperoni Pizza Arse and The Car Licker.
Workmates include Sausage Head, Sizzling Skillet and Knacker.
I do struggle to call anyone by their actual names to be fair.

 

When I started work I was told one guy's nickname was Otto because he resembled Otto Von Bismarck. I misheard him and thought he said Otter. So, I said that surely Tarka would be a better nickname rather than Otter. From that day forward he was known as Tarka. 20 years later most people didn't know how the name Tarka got to be his nickname but only I knew the true origin.

 

There's a few at my work place that are beauties.

There's a bloke with a gammy eye (not sure that's the correct term, but we'll go with that), that is always appearing to be facing upwards - so he's called Look North.

Then there's Firestick - so named because he's 10 seconds behind everyone else.

 

That will have come from Rock FM... Some absolute beauties on that station.

One of my favourites on this show was a bloke called.... "Keth"... Cos he has an eye missing

 

I worked with a lazy sod we called Motion Sensor.
Only ever worked when someone was passing.

 

A workmate called harry never missed a Sunday at church,we nicknamed him harry Looya behind his back

 

Not mine but best I heard was a bloke called Wayne Bruce. Nickname Man Bat

 

My mate calls his wife 'San Marino' cos she kicks off every 10 minutes

 

We had a gaffer Nick named Harpic as he was clean round the bend.
Also a lad called thrombosis as he was a slow moving clot.

 

I didn't know you were a Cabinet minister

 

One of the regulars in the poker games at Luton Grosvenor is a guy called Tom Myland, who was referred to by the other regulars as "Gerroff".

 

And one that's much more relevant to this board, back in the day of the monthly Supporter's Club open meetings, when players were regular attendees, one of the most memorable ones was Arjan De Zeeuw, not long after he'd signed for us, being utterly perplexed as to why he'd been nicknamed "Chez" by his teammates.

One of the biggest laughs at that meeting was when he mentioned his belief that Dutch people had a greater inherent dislike of Germans than the English did, and some dry wit in the audience shouted back, in a heavy Barnsley accent, "did the' bomb thy chip shop too?"

 

Feckpig..... well dodgy bloke in Wuzbrer Dale
Apparently the hessian was a secret weapon, but the farm in the too corner never had the same feel

 

1. MINT - nicknamed Mint cos he always turned up for work after 8.

2. FATHA (as in Father but with a Barnsley accent) - 64 year old guy who fathered a child when he was 15.

 

A kid in 6th form got called Linford because his girlfriend at the time let slip that the first time they went at it he finished in under 10 seconds

 

bloke in our club who's deaf is nicknamed " tup tup" 'cos everytime you ask him where his pint is he says " av tupped tup"