Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    If you’re feeling alone this December, please remember you’re always alone,
    It just happens to be December
     
    Bossman, Dec 18, 2024 at 8:58 AM
    #4741
    Simon De Montforte, Brush, Baldrick and 2 others like this.
  2. KamikazeCo-Pilot

    KamikazeCo-Pilot Well-Known Member

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    A young couple are exploring the hills round their lovely, Mexican seaside holiday village when they come across a local guy sat on a rock crying his eyes out. Being a compassionate pair they ask him what's wrong. Luckily for them he speaks English and replies.
    'Look at the village below' he says, between sobs, 'I build 20 of those houses, but when I walk through the street do they call me Pedro the housebuilder?' He shakes his head, sobs and continues. 'I build 15 of those boats you see down there in the harbour. Do they call me Pedro the boatbuilder?' He shakes his head again and sobs more loudly.
    The couple are perplexed. 'Well what's wrong then?' the woman asks.
    The Mexican guy slowly looks up and despairingly cries out ' I shag ONE sheep......!!'
     
    KamikazeCo-Pilot, Dec 18, 2024 at 9:21 AM
    #4742
    Hooky feller, Baldrick and Bossman like this.
  3. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    On the twelve days of Christmas Yorkshire gave to meeeeee:
    12 White Roses
    11 Homing Pigeons
    10 Bread cakes
    9 Bradford Curries
    8 Pints a beer
    7 Pork pies
    6 lumps a coal
    5 Stooooooolen Rings
    4 Racing Whippets
    3 Flat caps
    2 Yorkshire puds
    And a nice mug of Yorkshire Teeeeeeeeeeea..........
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Dec 18, 2024 at 12:18 PM
    #4743
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  4. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    THE OFFSIDE RULE EXPLAINED….. Have to keep abreast of the rules IMG_3127.jpeg
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Dec 18, 2024 at 12:23 PM
    #4744
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  5. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Wife’s pressie sorted, 2x chocolate oranges and a bottle of wine. upload_2024-12-18_13-31-33.png
     

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    Tarntyke, Dec 18, 2024 at 1:32 PM
    #4745
    Hooky feller, Baldrick, dearnevalleyviper and 2 others like this.
  6. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    upload_2024-12-19_12-33-43.png
     
    Tarntyke, Dec 19, 2024 at 12:33 PM
    #4746
    Prince of Risborough and Hooky feller like this.
  7. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    As Christmas approaches,spare a thought for that fella in red who puts a shift in once a year ..

    Merry Christmas,Josh Benson..…….its a joke just a joke
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Dec 19, 2024 at 3:31 PM
    #4747
    Simon De Montforte and Cowboy like this.
  8. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Its surprising how many Wednesday fans are getting a blanket for xmas
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Dec 19, 2024 at 3:32 PM
    #4748
    Hooky feller likes this.
  9. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Kippas top tip…. Lads, still panicking what to get the missus for Crimbo? Fear not Heed her words from a few weeks back when she said to you calmly and seriously "Darling, you needn't buy me anything for Christmas. I've got everything I need, and you're all that I want in life"
    So do it - get nothing, as she instructed, and see her face light up Christmas morning as she realises you have (for once!) followed her instructions
    BTW - I've heard that Christmas dinner in major injury wards in hospitals is not really that bad. And you get a visit from Santa too
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Dec 19, 2024 at 3:33 PM
    #4749
    Prince of Risborough and Hooky feller like this.
  10. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Breaking news. Barnsley FC have just signed a new striker. Which is good because we certainly need a new Santa Forward.Happy Christmas all of you lovely people IMG_3130.jpeg
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Dec 20, 2024 at 12:56 PM
    #4750
    Simon De Montforte likes this.
  11. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    KIPPAS CHRISTMAS TIP DO NOT FORGET TO GET ENOUGH FOOD FOR 27 DAYS AS THE SHOPS WILL BE CLOSED FOR 12 HOURS OVER CHRISTMAS
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Dec 20, 2024 at 12:57 PM
    #4751
  12. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Last night's 1980's Christmas Disco was a disaster .
    i had a few beers . they played the twist . i Danced the Twist .
    They played the Hokey Cokey . i danced the hokey Cokey .
    They played the Timewarp . I did the Timewarp .
    Then they played Come On Eileen and I was kicked out!!!
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Dec 20, 2024 at 12:58 PM
    #4752
    Brush, Simon De Montforte and crossred like this.
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