Following on from whitey post

Talking of turds what's the longest you'd say you've dropped in to the pan.
At a guess I'd say a few of mine have touched on the 30 inch mark,taking into consideration whereabouts they've dropped up the pan. ( i used to be a builder so thats a rough estimate)
Think the longest turd I've ever seen was laid almost across a double page of the Daily mirror, that a bloke I know called Dave Willoughby threw at another boat whilst we were having a battle of the lochs/ seas around the isle of Bute many years ago. We were battling with flour and eggs and anything else we could throw at each other...we were losing until Dave came back with his special and let loose
Not only splattering the cabin doors but dotting the i in the Princess of Argyll name plate on the stern of the boat.
You know why your turds taper at one end ...its to stop you bum hole shutting with a bang

 

Surely you mean 30cms?

You're not seriously suggesting you've done a 2 and a half foot long shiite?

 

Once stood one up, similar in shape to Blackpool Tower and proudly sat well above the water line.

Genius really

 

A two and a half foot turd? Not a ******* chance is that true surely?

 

I had to register one of mine as a birth at the town hall

 

I can clearly recall in the 80's a bloke by the name of Baz one afternoon in the Chennells... he came out of the bogs to proudly announce he'd given birth to a python. The turd was coiled around at the bottom and then ran the length of the pot until it's tip nestled on the seat.
Quite a few people present were in awe of the spectacle that day.

 

Crikey there’s ***** every where

 

'arris like a welly top!..........sithi.

 

Lads int Chennells checking art Baz's ringpiece after his monster sh¡t£ ....."shocked I tell thi, he'd an arseoil like channel tunnel when he came art tut sh;tter" said one shocked regular..........sithi.

 

Bazza may not be aware of this. But his Brothers (he was a shift charge electrical engineer) shift. Used to see who could lay the longest unbroken log. Dirty b'stds. .

 

It was a builders estimate!

 

I've had a ghost 5hit. Hit the water like a 9.9 no splash and straight down the pipe.

 

I've done some absolute monsters in my time, but sadly I've never thought to measure them. Really wish I had now. Gutted.

 

Don’t dismiss it, I know Shed, you should see the size of his arse.

 

This forum is full of s**t.

 

Laughed so much I nearly fell off my stool.

 

It is based the measurements he uses when explaining size to the missis