People say I'm addicted because I drink a lot of brake fluid. I'm not........I can stop whenever I want
I had a brief fling with an English teacher She ended the affair because of my improper use of the colon
I bought a new shirt from Frank Bird's last week, but I kept getting static shocks off it. I took it back and they gave me a replacement free of charge.
Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. ‘That was my pager,’ she said. ‘I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.’ A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, ‘That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.’ The older woman felt very low-tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The older woman finally said… ‘Well, will you look at that… I’m getting a fax!!!’
"Beer gone up again? Why should I come here and pay £4.30 for a pint when I can get 8 cans for a fiver at the off licence to drink at home? " I said to the landlord. "Because your wife's there." He replied... Good point, I'll ave another one of your fine ales please sir!!"
Proper made me laugh when I read that. Apparently a major shareholder in Tesla has told Musk that he's got to leave the Trump administration and concentrate on his day job. It looks like the protests, boycotts and tariffs are working a treat.