Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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  2. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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  3. Dar

    Darfield138 Well-Known Member

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    People say I'm addicted because I drink a lot of brake fluid. I'm not........I can stop whenever I want
     
  4. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    I had a brief fling with an English teacher
    She ended the affair because of my improper use of the colon
     
    john coucom, scarf, Baldrick and 2 others like this.
  5. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    I bought a new shirt from Frank Bird's last week, but I kept getting static shocks off it. I took it back and they gave me a replacement free of charge.
     
  6. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    you can tell you are an engineer :)
     
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  7. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel.

    Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. ‘That was my pager,’ she said. ‘I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.’

    A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, ‘That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.’

    The older woman felt very low-tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.

    She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The older woman finally said… ‘Well, will you look at that…

    I’m getting a fax!!!’
     
    Redblueunwhite, DSLRed and crossred like this.
  8. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    "Beer gone up again? Why should I come here and pay £4.30 for a pint when I can get 8 cans for a fiver at the off licence to drink at home? " I said to the landlord.
    "Because your wife's there." He replied...
    Good point, I'll ave another one of your fine ales please sir!!"
     
    scarf likes this.
  9. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Apparently Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal, until the pressure got to him.
     
  10. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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  11. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Love on the Rocks.
    Al get mi coyt.
     
  12. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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  13. ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon

    ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon Well-Known Member

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  14. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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  15. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    The other day I saw two cows playing cards and smoking joints.
    I think the steaks we're pretty high
     
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  16. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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  17. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Sorry for being pedantic.
    But 2000 + 2000 = 20,002,000
    She sold herself short.;)
     
  18. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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  19. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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  20. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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