Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Mar 14, 2025
    #4901
    Redblueunwhite, scarf and Baldrick like this.
  2. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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    winged avenger, Mar 19, 2025
    #4902
    North Yorks Red, Hooky feller, Didcot Red and 2 others like this.
  3. Dar

    Darfield138 Well-Known Member

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    People say I'm addicted because I drink a lot of brake fluid. I'm not........I can stop whenever I want
     
    Darfield138, Mar 19, 2025
    #4903
    Tyke The Tree-Frog, Simon De Montforte, Lordtyke and 4 others like this.
  4. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    I had a brief fling with an English teacher
    She ended the affair because of my improper use of the colon
     
    Lordtyke, Mar 20, 2025
    #4904
    john coucom, scarf, Baldrick and 2 others like this.
  5. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    I bought a new shirt from Frank Bird's last week, but I kept getting static shocks off it. I took it back and they gave me a replacement free of charge.
     
    Stahlrost, Mar 20, 2025
    #4905
    ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon, Brush, HarpStaysSharp and 5 others like this.
  6. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    you can tell you are an engineer :)
     
    Farnham_Red, Mar 20, 2025
    #4906
    Stahlrost likes this.
  7. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel.

    Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. ‘That was my pager,’ she said. ‘I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.’

    A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, ‘That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.’

    The older woman felt very low-tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.

    She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The older woman finally said… ‘Well, will you look at that…

    I’m getting a fax!!!’
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Mar 20, 2025
    #4907
    Redblueunwhite, DSLRed and crossred like this.
  8. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    "Beer gone up again? Why should I come here and pay £4.30 for a pint when I can get 8 cans for a fiver at the off licence to drink at home? " I said to the landlord.
    "Because your wife's there." He replied...
    Good point, I'll ave another one of your fine ales please sir!!"
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Mar 20, 2025
    #4908
    scarf likes this.
  9. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Apparently Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal, until the pressure got to him.
     
    Stahlrost, Mar 20, 2025
    #4909
    Simon De Montforte, Brush, Baldrick and 1 other person like this.
  10. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Farnham_Red, Mar 20, 2025
    #4910
  11. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Love on the Rocks.
    Al get mi coyt.
     
    Hooky feller, Mar 20, 2025
    #4911
  12. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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    Brush, Mar 20, 2025
    #4912
  13. ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon

    ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon Well-Known Member

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    ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon, Mar 22, 2025 at 11:22 AM
    #4913
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  14. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    North Yorks Red, Mar 23, 2025 at 11:27 AM
    #4914
  15. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    The other day I saw two cows playing cards and smoking joints.
    I think the steaks we're pretty high
     
    Lordtyke, Mar 24, 2025 at 4:58 AM
    #4915
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  16. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Mar 24, 2025 at 1:23 PM
    #4916
    Brush and Hooky feller like this.
  17. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Sorry for being pedantic.
    But 2000 + 2000 = 20,002,000
    She sold herself short.;)
     
    Hooky feller, Mar 26, 2025 at 9:16 AM
    #4917
    Austiniho, x11barnsley and ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon like this.
  18. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    dreamboy3000, Mar 26, 2025 at 3:27 PM
    #4918
    x11barnsley, Brush, Hooky feller and 2 others like this.
  19. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Mar 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
    #4919
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  20. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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    Brush, Mar 26, 2025 at 5:33 PM
    #4920
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