Most underwhelming person off the telly you have seen whilst out and about

Dickie Bird in the doctors
Giving the receptionist some reight grief
The miserable owd barsteward

 

"Do you know who I am"?

 

I’ve met Harry a few times at Leeds airport with his wife always seemed jovial and up for a joke

 

Simon Cowell looks more like a Spitting Image puppet than he looks like Simon Cowell.

 

Charlie Williams on a flight from Heathrow to Manchester. Walked on, cracked a couple of jokes to everyone then sat down.

I nearly bowled over Steve Agnew coming out of the old social club when he was on crutches, and nearly repeated the trick with some old American TV woman whose name I forget coming out of a hotel in Boston.

I think we saw Gus Khan at Starbucks at the M61 services a few weeks ago with about 4-5 teenagers who all wanted something different.

 

I used to work with Nick Knight’s brother in law. He was a Consultant at Brighton A&E when I worked there.

 

Michael Le Vell, who plays Kevin Webster on Coronation Street. Miserable and arrogant. Was at our head office near old Granada tv studios. Walked down past the street actual set entrance/exit one lunch time for a nosey, it was light drizzle. Lot of fans of the show were waiting for autographs in very light drizzle. He comes out and winds his window down, and says in a nasty way “Effin hurry up, I’m effin freezing out here” - signed a couple and sped off. Bet they’d been waiting ages.

 

Jocky Wilson and his wife in Great Yarmouth in the early 90s trying to get the price knocked down buying something from a market stall.

 

I was stood in a queue at Wembley for a match program and very, very drunk fella staggered backwards and trod on my foot, I yelped and said something like 'Clumsy T#@t', he turned round and scowled at me, it was Peter Cook.

 

On the flip side of all this, I bet there's some guy out there on another forum possibly slagging me off for a similar thing
In another life lol when I was entertaining both adults and kids
I was living in Mallorca and had my own show 6 nights a week.
Up to some some point you could say i was classed by my audience as celebrity lol although i was just me. Some bloke from Barnsley earning a wage living the dream

Yes i experienced the other side
Posing for photos signing autographs, getting stopped in shops bars and restaurants. In fact it got that bad I had to travel to another resort on my day off to get some peace and be me. Guess it was just part of the job you could say

Not once did I refuse autographs or photos
However one afternoon I decided to change my normal routine and went on the beach a five minute walk if that, from where I was living.
Because I lived that close to the beach, I took nothing but the vest in one hand a bottle of water in the other and my beach towel thrown over my shoulder

I'd been on the beach about a hour or so, my vest now acting as my pillow, eyes closed, when I sensed there was someone standing very close to me

On opening my eyes a young girl about 7 years old was stood there and wanting my autograph.
No pen or paper in her hand. I'm sorry sweetheart I said I don't have pen or paper either, adding
if I did I'd gladly sign it

The next thing I know her dad's stood there with attitude calling me all the names under the sun for not giving his daughter my autograph
Whoa im on the beach I replied you can see I've no pen and paper, get me a pen and paper and I'll gladly sign it.
He replied why would I have a pen and paper, on me I'm on the beach on holiday he snapped
Whats the difference then I asked
difference is he continued is your not on holiday, you bloody lot should carry pens and paper and even signed photos because you know you are going to be stopped and asked for stuff.
He was so outraged it took his wife and another bloke from his party to drag him away
Showed himself up big time

Mind you his wife, some two days later, stopped me in the street with the little girl and apologised for his actions.
Whereupon she had a pen paper which I signed and even let her take photos with me
Happy days

 

Are you now Toby Tyke?

 

Dickie Bird picked him up in taxi years ago taking him to Yorkshire Television in Leeds tried to have a conversation with him asked me not to talk to him and when he paid the fair moaned about the price and even waited for the 20p change right miserable old git

 

Many years ago a friend of mine was looking after his book launch at a WHSmiths. Said similar about him that he was particular miserable and difficult.

 

Dicki Bird just lives up the road from me,and I remember a few years ago he used to go down for a breakfast everything morning at a cafe in the village and it was always on the house.Anyway the cafe changed hands and apparently he went in ordered his breakfast and got charged for it he said he gets it for free No chance said the new owner apparently he has never been back in since.

 

I heard a story that he was once doing a book signing in Wakefield and afterwards was halfway home in the car they’d laid on when he made the driver take him back to the shop because he’d forgotten his ‘glasses case’. When they got back there the driver found that said glasses case was one of the free pouches they give you in Specsavers!

 

congratulations on staying so normal after losing that, I'd have been in fking therapy for years!

 

Unfortunately thats not me lol
The suit (Head) is far too heavy and claustrophobic for my liking lol

 

I were lol


Ive still not got over it ,lol even after all these years

A similar thing happened with one of the girls from the Guinness family Empire (Daphne ).
Whilst I was at a License Victualers day in Denham
She asked me to call her having put her number in my blazer top pocket moments earlier, whilst we were in the champagne marquee having a few sherbets lol
Although I rang her a few days later, i was very apprehensive when a bloke answered and started asking me personal questions so i hung up
Turned out some months later it was a male relative looking out for her.
By then the chance had gone lol

 

You can knock Dickie all you want, but all I have is praise for him
I've sat with Dickie a few times at Oakwell, and on one occasion with my grandson.
My grandson then aged 7 was attending his first game, Dickie made a fuss of him explaining different things, asked him questions told him about his own childhood and asked him about his, in a way that captivated my grandsons imagination and got his attention by making him laugh at times. My grandson bless him has a short attention span due to having autism
Dickie was also encouraging him to shout Come on Barnsley
So thank you Dickie for your patience and time.

 

Got talking to George Clarke at mi lads wedding. (He worked on lots of George's shows. He now has the nice work of producing etc. for Alan Carr and Amanda Holden on their show and other programmes)
George. "Very nice lad your Gary"
"Takes after his dad" I said
Allus the modest one, me.
We did have a good chat and a few chuckles tbf lol. His partner sang at the wedding as well. Opera singer.
So not underwhelming. Just thought I'd share.