5 JOKES.... >Number 5 > A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes > into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and >says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft >as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your dick is as >hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221". > > Number 4 > A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He >notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about >it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that American >Indians have the longest penises and Greek men are the best in bed. By the >way, my name is Jill. What's yours? "Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet >you." > > Number 3 > One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his >wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a >gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and want to stay fresh." The husband, >rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his >wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" > > Number 2 > Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number >of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had >terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle >slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about >it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He >vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, >Bill came home. His wife could see at once that something was seriously >wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. Do you remember that I told you >how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" >"Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" >"I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" > "Oh...she got fired too." > > Number 1 > A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the >breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years >ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. "I know," the >old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years >ago. "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times." Whereupon >the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, >honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, > "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago. "I >wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other >is in your oatmeal ff
