... I've built this Trident submarine in my back garden and need a few tips to get it commissioned reight. First, I need some Uranium 235 for the reactor. I've tried to centrifuge my own on the Waltzers and the the flying fish but it don't seem to separate out well enough. If anybody has a couple of kilos under the sink I could take it off your hands like. Next I can't get torpedoes for love nor f*ckin' money. Yellow pages directed me to Bassetts Sweet Company but they were far too small for the tubes and mostly filled wi liquorice. I need a crew as well. I've interviewed three so far; one said he was claustrophobic, the second; all he could say was GARRRR! and other pirate stuff and the third was Shay Blythe who was fine but insisted on staying on the surface. Am gerrin really depressed wi all this nonsense, I know it was a 25 billion parnd deal wit government but the neighbours have started accusing me of spying on them from mi periscope, so what if it does look into their daughter’s bedroom!! This the defence of the f*ckin country we are talking about here FFS! Anyway - any help or advice would be most welcome. Regards Admiral Geoff T. Thribb RN (Retired)
If you struggle getting it commissioned, you could consider some live webcam action via 'Periscope Cam', it might cover some running costs while you formulate a proper plan. If you send me a live 'test' feed in secret, I'll come up with a marketing plan some time over the next six months. If she's fit. I hope this helps in some way.
That's a good idea but my bandwidth won't stand the extra strain due to the 'Au Pair Cam' currently deployed in her shitter (so to speak) - but like I said I'm not a voyeur.
I've got a couple of dilithium crystals if thats any help.. i'll teleport them through when I get home.
That's really funny. Ha ha ha. Dilithium does not exist. It's pure fantasy from Star Trek. If you do seriously want to help you can let me have some Uranium. Teleport it if you want to.
Simple, just replace the live feed on the 'Au Pair Cam' with a still shot of the bog, every 3 months put up an mpeg of her having a piss. Split the difference with 'Periscope Cam'. It's like double penetration, of the market that is, nothing else. Same bandwidth. Why do you think the BBS is 'temporarily offline for upgrading' on matchdays?
Hey that's right! Mebbies I could catch them both flicking themselves off on the trap. Just in the name of scientific research you understand.
Thought I could help... .... but it appears that I only have Uranium 238. I do have some Mark 48 ADCAPs available though. I'm keeping them onboard an offshore warehousing facility near Portsmouth - Shall we say 2 grand each. Tell me when you want delivery so I can figure out which is the nearest night without moonlight (essential for the <strike>removal </strike>movement of torpedoes).</p> This a special deal so no mention of it to RN or plod ok!</p> </p> </p> </p> </p>