A few marital tips I gave out ths week in my capacity as agony aunt....

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband can't get enough of you! Knowinh that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best freind. Far from being an issue. this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college room mates involved as well? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your frein without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asked me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boy.

A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and should be encouraged. The man is the hunter and needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationaship better than the man being away for a day or two (It's a great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets back is for you and your best freind to perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask a freind to help. You may wish to videotape the proceding while doing this and present it to him as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training at once. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consumming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your husband as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex and making him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rools over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

 

Dear agony aunt

what do you do if you can't cook?

 

love it . copied and gonna leave it on table in morning when i go out , right on top of the kettle , she's sure to see it then , mind you ?? perhaps not she'll kill me ..still good though ..ff

 

Could be a blow that.

... I'll ask Airy.