or woe, depending upon your viewpoint... </p> True (as best as I can recall it) story about a certain poster on this board. Dunno why the memory has stirred.... </p> Cant say who because I'd like to retain a little bit of honour and perhaps some ammunition just in case its needed (lookout) </p> Anyroad up...1985 ish </p> We used to play footy on the local field every night, every weekend etc.</p> This kid used to come along, older than most of us (I was 16, he was mebbe 21), he was not exactly blessed with the greatest gift in the game to say the least but for some reason he seemed to think he was a talent.</p> A group of us decides to pillock him so we got hold of a club letterhead and the man with the best handwriting avec red pen copied a new one then typed a letter on it saying how he had been spotted on the local pitch by scouts and that the club would like him to come down for a trial. Envelope,Stamp, post, leave to boil.</p> Soon after he comes out showing us the letter and telling us all about it. We all manage to keep straight faces telling him we cant believe it.</p> We cant believe he's swallowed it!! Apart from a blindingly obvious abyss in football capability if you looked none too closely at the letter the fact that the letterhead had been hand written was obvious and you could still see the pencil guidelines. He even took it down to someone at the ground to see if they thought the letter and the managers signature was pukka and they said it was..must have been some bloke walking his dog. </p> Anyway we cant let him turn up at the ground so a group of us go round to his house (due to a little guilt and fear we might end up in bother) and own up.</p> He vehemently claims we are just jealous, we point out the flaws and eventually he mother comes out and shouts at us</p> "you want shooting wi ****" </p> </p> </p>