Add one word to a movie title to completely change the film

Schindler's shopping list
Oscars first trip to tesco.

The matrix signs
A disgruntled highways employee sets the speed limit on the M1 to 50mph. Who will stop him?

Batman returns home
After a busy days crime fighting the caped crusader spends a quiet night in at the mansion.

Holiday memento
A woman buys a vase while on holiday in Greece. Will it survive the journey back in her suitcase?

 

Dead Man's Ballet Shoes

A soldier returns to his hometown to avenge the murder of his brother and slays the perpetrators one by one, whilst wearing his favourite ballet shoes

 

Lock Jaws 2

When tetanus gets out of control.



Die Hard Penis 2

When viagra gets out of control

 

Mitre Delta Force - Chuck Norris leads a task force to release hostages from a hijacked aircraft using incendiary devices masquerading as revolutionary 1980's footballs.

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The Damned Sheff United

Agent heckingbottom secretly leaves Barnsley FC under a cloud.....nobody knows why......weeks later her rocks up at Bumhole Lane with his secret sidekick Sedgy who is secretly in contact with the board at Oakwell. Heckingbottoms mission is to relegate Sheffield United back to League 1. They find it tough especially when things don't go to plan after they beat the Owls 2-1 after a late Ched Evans winner. Heckingbottom sees that Evans is the main reason why United won't go down so he gets rid of him by sending him to a nightclub in Wales and the rest is history. United don't win another game.....they even lose to Hallam FC in the FA cup and see themselves back in L1. The crowd want Heckingbottom out and get their wish as he returns to Barnsley and gets them promoted to the premiership the following season even after selling all his top players in January and getting by on youth loans. He gets offered the England job just before Barnsley are due to play real Madrid in the champions league final and the movie gets left wide open for a sequel to see if he takes it or not.

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Pacific rim job
Erm...

 

Total ******* Recall

Supertyke is strapped to a brand new, super technical virtual reality headset which means he has to re-live all the terrible sexual experiences he's ever had. Including THAT one...

 

I told you not to tell anybody about that night. We were both drunk and you were the one who slipped something in my drink

 

Lady toy - story.

Buzz Lightyear has a totally different appearance. Grows a pair of ears half way down his body, and his head spins round very quickly!
Certainly makes a woody....

 

The Life of Brian Howard - believed to be the Messiah, but after signing for Sheffield United, was proved he was just a very naughty boy.

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There's loads and loads

Gold Finger(er)
This man knows how to play a woman like a fiddle

Star(t) Wars
Best selling DVD in North Korea

(H)EL(L) CID ...
This is one mean Spanish *******

The Quiet (Wo)Man
Something all men wish for - but never get

 

Bloody hell the old BBS is back.

 

The worst Godfather -

Feeling sorry for his unpopular friend, Tony ask Ted to be godfather to his newborn son. Ted, who's never been given responsibility for anything before, tries his best to make the christening ceremony as memorable as possible. This movie would probably star Will Ferrell and need a disclaimer that no animals were harmed in its production.


12 Angry Yorkshire Men-

The entirety of the film is set in the West End WMC in Cudworth. 12 old men (former miners) sit along the wall, watching people coming in and moan about 'the youth of today'.


Pillow Fight Club-

Some sort of 'coming of age' film starring whoever the latest Mila Kunis/Lindsay Lohan type 19 year old American actress is. A group of school friends meet up to have pillow fights and probably talk about boys. One probably moves away, and they all get sad and then have a 'moment' where they all grow up. As seems to be the norm for this type of genre. Probably.


The Lord of the stolen rings- Danny Dyer stars in this 'Cockney Caper', as Freddo Biggins, a low life burglar who has come across a rare and expensive ring that he takes a shine to whilst on his round. Turns out it belongs to the wife of notorious gangster and general hard *******, Big Dick (Played probably by Geoff Bell) who gives him hell for 90 minutes until he probably dies in some sort of comedic way.

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Goodfellas Pizza's-

A documentary about how Goodfellas make their Pizza's.


Seven Scottish Samurai-

Comedy starring Frankie Boyle, as 7 Scottish men in post independence Scotland attempt to take the law into their own hands after policing cuts on the streets of Glasgow.


The Un-Usual suspects-

5 Nuns are sent to prison for an arson attack on a local Sainsbury's. After overcoming the usual trials and tribulations of being in a women's prison, they start to turn the inmates to Christ. The major plot twist is that it comes out that one of them... is actually guilty.

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The Italian Bob a Job.

A rag-tag group of boy scouts plan a bullion heist...

 

When harry met sumo sally.
The iconic Hawaiian sumo wrestler from the 80s gives billy crystal more than he bargained for in a typical American diner when he runs a $450 bill up

 

Shaving Private Ryan.

Epic war drama on how American GIs kept a clean cut appearance under intense fire...

 

Debbie does Hugh Dallas

An American lady of loose morals has a lot of 'fun' with a retired Scottish referee

Wild Wild West Brom

An unrealistic send up of Tony pulis' team where they actually attack regularly and attempt flowing football.

He picks two forwards and has at least 40% possession every game after their fans demand it, they lose 5-4 every week and are relegated by March.




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Petes dragon tie.
A depiction of how big Pete from high hoyland gave additional tensile stability to his new single storey extension by tying the corners of his walls in .

 

Digby the biggest dogger in the world.
This family classic is changed slightly when frank and Margo innocently flash their lights into the darkness of the fog filled copse only to have their front window smashed through by a massive woolly ****. The excited giant canine then takes a fancy to a parked up Sherpa van full of seafood